Who doesn’t love the weekends. They can be so beautiful! Yes, it is your time and space to sit back and do all that you probably had wanted to do during the week, but sometimes, it just adds to the reflecting self. The past two weekends have been raining very heavily in Bombay. Its strange how even the slight change in the weather would change your thoughts and the way you would feel.
So here I am, sitting by the window as the rain just splashes on my window panes and I hear the frivolous breeze gushing through the trees, my mind is filled with so many thoughts. Its filled with the thoughts of my amazing Miami Vacation that I just cannot get out of yet. Geesh! The adrenaline that I was mentioning in my previous post “Here I Come” still seems to rushing through me when ever I think about my Para sailing adventure there. The big wide Colgate smile can be seen through my photographs.
Then, there are thoughts about the fun I had last night with my friends, straight after work when we actually planned to head for a movie, but due it being the weekend, the tickets were all sold out. So we landed up taking this amazing drive to town, stopping at a club – even though it was a dry day. We were enjoying our drinks. I was happy being in the company of friends and vodka, celebrating that a really crazy week had ended.
Suddenly the huge big screen lights up. The appearance with just white light behind him, made the crowd cheer. It was Michael Jackson’s performing in India. His enthralling energy, his thrust and of course the moonwalk, made the crowds do nothing but whistle and celebrate the man who made music like no one else did.
Watching the crowd cheer him like anything, would just make you realize and reflect, that though within their hearts people felt sad, they have consicously chosen to celebrate his life and not his death.
It’s a big, big, big, and a huge loss to people like me who have nearly grown up listening and watching him. I had received my first pocket money when I was entering college, and I clearly remember buying the thriller cd with it, something that I still cherish. I still listen to songs “Heal the World”, “The Way You Make Me Feel”,“They Don’t Really Care About Us” on my cell and laptop.
The attention given to his personal life, doesn’t matter to me, and I refuse to be judgmental about what he was personally, as we all have our vices. What really mattered and connected me to him was the words and the lyrics of his music. He just did not make music. He made magic. His music would make you feel. His music would make you think. He was a musician and his music will always be a legacy. He will live on.
If I ever had to choose just one song…just that one song that makes my heart really sing, just that one song which right from the beginning till the end would make you want to love….is the song that I choose to leave you with. MJ was a legend and will continue to be one…He was never alone! And the way he made me feel…
I am slowly and steadily walking back into the human space. I am slowly feeling back to being really smartly normal.
I finally am coming to a realization that I want to go back being and living the wild life that I just love living.
It’s that impulse and its that rush that really drives me. Its that adrenaline of last minute excitement that I thrive on.
I breed my thoughts and my every breath over the adventure that life has always had in store for me.
One excitement would be just ending and the other one would have automatically starting to have its space in my life. The last couple of months for some reason came to really quite stand still and maybe because I was just feeling bored, I quite didn’t have that blood rushing into my head. All right! Lets be honest for once, we all know the reasons for our strange behavior.
We all from within ourselves understand what are we behaving the way we are – as we completely read our own feelings within ourselves. yes, Maybe we are unable to express them in a way that others would understand them – so by and large, just end up saying “I don’t know, why I am feeling this way” Or “May be its just one of those mood swings and it will pass”; when thoroughly, right from the top, to the bottom of your heart you would have all those reasons lined up and you clearly able to read them to know your reasons.
So yes, I knew why I was feeling the way I was and probably just didn’t have the energy left in me to fight that out. But now that’s all that in the past…I just love my life back. It’s like living and drinking again.
Ooops did I say drinking! Ah Well! The occasional night outs after a long hard drawn days at work just adds more to the wilderness. The real and distinctive spice to those night outs have actually been the last minute impulsive plans that have been materialized. So, maybe for me, it was not the ‘drinking’ aspect, it was more to do with the impromptu plans that added to my excitement.
Such is life. At times, we would be heard complaining “Oh Lord, too much is going on, all at once”. And when the Almighty says “Amen” and slows it down a little bit. We start our complaint ramblings once again “Just nothing exciting is happening”.
I think, I have enjoyed both the sides of the world. When I was going slow, yes, I was driving to come back to me, but now when I am sensibly looking back, I think it was much needed. It was much needed to understand – It’s just One Life, One Life Time.
When one falls in love its the red fiery passion for the person that sparks off attraction. It makes love so crazy, that you don’t see anything else.
The weather seems brighter than sunshine. The things you didn’t like, become a thing of the past. Everything is so rosy, so comfy and so nice. Health seems even better and smiles even wider.
I have admired people who have completely live passionately and love even more passionately, as I understand and relate to those emotions. The fire emulates within them as if it would be the last day that they would live. This song from Marc Anthony cannot define Love any better to me…
The words…
That Voice..
That Passion …
The Effect that is sets in your heart…I leave you with this song today…
As much as I would have wanted a post completely wholly dedicated to my friends, I thought it to expand my arena and get everyone to contribute as to what people would really think about what friendship is about and what it isn’t. So I sent out an email to a selected list of people asking them to pen down their thoughts to what they really believed, experienced, had thoughts, felt strongly about friendship based on their experiences so far in the relationship, which I could then publish.
We all have a value system for every relationship that we have. We all believe that there is a certain protocol that exists in every relationship on which would lie a certain base of expectations, a certain level of give and take. What is really amazing is that every individual being so different has a different way of building their own value system in the relationship. And I really wanted to tap that. I wanted to know what people thought, and felt or have felt so far in the experiences that they have had.
The best part of this entire experience was, that I was absolutely just amazed, touched, numbed and add another 100 more synonyms to these words which I felt when I started getting responses from people. Below, I reproduce what they have mentioned. Where some people have not had any restrictions in me publishing their names, some have been mentioned in their Abbreviations.
Friendship Is…
From Kripa Krishnamoorthy: (Kripa replied to me as per below, marking all her friends on CC and dedicating this to them – how cool is that)
Being able to pick up where you have left of last. 5 minutes or 5 years. ( Aparna that one is for you)
Walking into their home after years, and feeling like you always belong there. ( Kusum that for you)
Having a twenty minute chat which makes you feel like you have a refreshed your dreams for life ( Dude!! that’s for the only guy on the CC list – Deepak Ganapathy)
From Charu Raghavan: (Something sooo different, something that I wouldn’t have quite thought of)
Rather than defining friendship, I’d like to define my idea of a true friend. A true friend is:
..a person who CHOOSES to PARTICIPATE in your life rather than merely OBSERVE it from a distance….. As I see it, most people put the ‘me’ before the ‘us’, sometimes consciously, sometimes not. Preoccupation with the self is natural but most often, it consumes people and defines their existence. Hence, when anybody chooses to go beyond that and participate in another’s life in all genuiness, I’d think its a privilege to have such a friend. When you give a friend or any other relationship space in your life with all genuineness and trust, the ‘us’ always takes precedence over the ‘me’…and that’s how humanity was meant to be.
My conclusion: Friendship is the foundation stone to being human and your best bet at survival. And from personal experience, isolation doesn’t work..coz your true friends always sniff you out!
From Wama Bheda:
Reading the mind of your buddy
Always being there for your friend
Accepting your friend for what he/she is
Saying the truth or correcting your friend when you know he/she is wrong
A relationship of a lifetime
About sharing your life with the special ones
Being yourself
From Ryan Lewis:
About identity
Cohesiveness
Being Humble
Helpful
Encouragement
Kicking one’s butt to improve of course
From Vanessa White:
Friendship is most definitely about communicating always. When one fails to communicate with one’s friends, the friendships break down. We cannot assume that the other person knows us well enough, to not have to tell them/show them/let them know clearly and openly what is going on with us.
Honesty of communication is also the only way to go. To show respect for our friendships, and for ourselves and the other individual, honesty is a must. It is really nonnegotiable.
Friendship is also about being together, with your friend and in the friendship, when you need each other and when you don’t. When you are having fun and when you are comfortable, and everything in between. When we turn our backs on our friends, we turn our backs on those people that enrich and bring joy to our lives.
From KA:
It’s about you knowing silently when your friends would need you the most.
It’s about sharing that pain more than joy.
It’s about fighting for that relationship when it would have turned sour to make it work.
From Anjali R:
Friendship is about “Trusting” & listening to “Trust”.
It is about believing in your most trusted relationships
It is about speaking emotions when words seem far less.
It is about communicating, honestly, openly and freely.
It is about helping overcome the most toughest challenges in each other’s life “TOGETHER”. It’s about ‘US” and not about ‘ME’
It is about being together for a life time, in rains, in storms, in hope, and in the joys and celebration.
From Rajshreee G:
About being together Always
I’d like to add a word to the above underlined few words. Friendship is about being together always emotionally/ mentally. It is practically not possible to
maybe physically be together forever. However, I do agree with your friends staying connected emotionally. Distance no matter how large, a true friend can always be with you as we have technology today to support us.
Communicating Always
Communicating always: I would partially agree with this. Once again looking at schedules it might get a bit difficult to communicate all the time due to lack of time. However, once again an SMS today can even reach America in 5 seconds. So, if a person would like to communicate he/she can do so very conveniently. However, there are times when we might not do it either coz we have something more important to talk which might need a telephone or personally going and meeting someone and then we wait for a weekend to come. If the communication does take place its good. But usually by the weekend is here we tend to forget and this eventually builds up and then comes the day where you are not in touch with the person.
Friendship Isn’t About…
From Kripa Krishnamoorthy:
Judging their decisions however irrational they may be.
Letting a misunderstanding cloud over years of connect.(DNM/ Chits, you know what)
From Wama Bheda:
About secrets
About gains or selfish motives
From Ryan Lewis:
One up-man-ship
Stabbing one in the back
From Vanessa White:
Friendship is not about obligation or “I must do” kind of thing. Friendship is born out of a desire to be with a person, or people, that we enjoy the company. That we have things in common with. That we share a dream or a goal with. Some of my fondest memories in my life are with the friendships that I established when I was in college 25 years ago. They were strong bonds and were forged in real life situations.
Friendship is NOT about ego, or about competition. When it becomes about that, it is no longer friendship, and there is a lack of honesty in the intention of the relationship.
Friendship is not about putting ourselves above another, or putting them below us either. It is about all of us being on a level playing field, treating each other as peers, collaborators and colleagues rather than competitors. When competition or ego enters, it destroys trust and it creates power in a relationship that eats it away.
Friendship is a must in this life. We don’t have to have hundreds of friends, but we all need to have them. I have to say, that some of the most genuine and fun, learning friendships have come to me through my blogging. I have met some of the most amazing people and when we make friends, the world just opens up for us!!!!
From KA:
It’s not friendship, if there is a doubt on the integrity of the one whom you call a friend.
It’s not friendship when, you feel unsure about the decisions that your friend would ask you to make for your own good.
Its not friendship when, you have not spoken clearly expecting the other to know it all.
From Anjali R:
It is not about competing.
It is not about having the ego to clarify when things go wrong.
It is not about judging the other person.
It is not about pointing fingers at the opposite person’s vices.
From Rajshreee G:
About Ego
Its NEVER NEVER about Ego. However, like I have mentioned in the “communicating always” tab if ignorance takes over keeping in touch, there would be a limit to which you can make efforts. Once that limit is crossed Ego does take over. So there should be a limit to which a friend can give coz its always both ways. Give and take.
About Competition.
Only 1 word for this. NEVER. Competition with Friends does not exist in my dictionary no matter what.
Just wanted to say a few more things. I’ve often noticed that at every stage in life you have different friends. As we same some remain some move on. However, I am yet finding answers to a few questions:
1. Why is it that nowadays friendship has become a temporary needful term? Why once the purpose is served people forget friends?
2. Expectations- Should there be any or not? If there should be any then how much?
3. GIVE AND TAKE- The basic of any relationship!! Why is it that we tend to ignore or (take it for granted) only in friendship
Thank You all for sending in such wonderful thoughts and words of wisdom. It’s been absolutely my blessing to have such amazing supportive people around me all the time. A true blessing in disguise. As far as my Definition of what friendship is about….Friendship to me is
“You Guys…” Everything that you are – defines friendship.
Thank You once again
Lots of Luv,
Deeps
PS: I am not in Hibernation even though I know I have been very quite with my blogging. I will be back with a bang and lots more coming up soon, very soon. I am hunting and searching still very hard for that mojo which has left me in a lurch, right in the middle all of a sudden in now where land.
All right, it’s been over a week that I have been back from my most amazing vacation in Miami, Florida and I just seemed to have lost my mojo to write.
I don’t know where all my inspirations and thoughts have just vanished that suddenly I feel like I have nothing to say about.
It feels like, I have already said what I wanted to and the system is completely shut at this time.
I do have my fleeting moments of trying to pen something down, but it seems my motivation has been taken away.
I want to write and I am sure, I have loads within me that I can get out, but maybe here are some blockages some where.
I am Looking…
I am Searching…
Do you sometimes feel “stuck” in some parts of your life, business or career?
Consider the phenomenon and metaphor of how hunters in Africa catch a monkey. In Africa, when hunters want to catch a monkey, they use a strategy that understands the monkey’s behavior patterns — patterns that work against the monkey’s best interests.
The hunter takes a jar with an opening slightly larger than a monkey’s hand. He ties a rope around the neck of it using a knot, called a monkey’s knot which is a cradle of the rope around the jar. The hunter places some food in the glass jar, like rice or a banana slice.
The monkey reaches his hand into the jar, grabs the food, making a fist with his paw. Now, the monkey’s dilemma: the monkey cannot get his hand out of the jar unless he drops the food. The neck of the jar is simply not wide enough. Of course, the monkey could drop the food and easily get his hand out, but it won’t. Despite having at his command the means to escape, it does not — it holds his hand grasping the food until a hunter throws a net over it, capturing it.
Relevance to you and me? Ever held on to something that you should’ve let go?
So many people don’t know when to let go, and move on. This can happen in relationships, when one holds one way beyond when they should let go, and move on.
It happens in business when you get one of those customers from Hades, and not worth the time, pain and effort to keep them.
Hard to let them go, yes — but totally necessary. Survival is the first way of business, and there may be customers that you don’t want or need. Are there outdated methods, beliefs or habits that you’re holding on to, that are not moving you forward?
Stuff lying around the office or house that should be thrown away? Part of what keeps us from reaching our potential is holding on to old beliefs that don’t move us toward our dreams — with our fist stuck in the jar. Take a serious look at your life — your work or personal life — and decide what needs to be “let go.”
Letting Go can actually open up your mind to new opportunities and dimensions that you may have thought never existed.
Something that I came across..and so had to share it; as it round again comes back and talks about the Factor of Time – something that I have mentioned in my previous post of Race With The Hour Glass.
Would surely love to know your thoughts!!!
You will never know what the total cost of your education was, but for a lifetime you will recall and relive the memories of schools and colleges. Few years from now, you will forget the amount you paid to settle the hospitalization bill, but will ever cherish having saved your mother’s life or the life you get to live with the just born. You won’t remember the cost of your honeymoon, but to the last breath remember the experiences of the bliss of togetherness.
Money has no memory. Experience has.
Good times and bad times, times of prosperity and times of poverty, times when the future looked so secure and times when you didn’t know from where the tomorrow will come… life has been in one way or the other a roller-coaster ride for everyone. Beyond all that abundance and beyond all that deprivation, what remains is the memory of experiences. Sometimes the wallet was full… sometimes even the pocket was empty. There was enough and you still had reasons to frown. There wasn’t enough and you still had reasons to smile.
Today, you can look back with tears of gratitude for all the times you had laughed together, and also look back with a smile at all the times you cried alone. All in all, life filled you with experiences to create a history of your own self, and you alone can remember them all.
• The first time you balanced yourself on your cycle without support…
• The first cry… the first steps… the first word… all of your child…
• The first gift you bought for your parents and the first gift your daughter gave you…
• The first award… the first public appreciation… the first stage performance…
• And the list is endless… Experiences, with timeless memory…
No denying that anything that’s material cost money, but the fact remains the cost of the experience will be forgotten, but the experience never.
So, what if it’s economic recession? Let it be, but let there not be a recession to the quality of your life. You can still take your parents, if not on a pilgrimage, at least to the local temple. You can still play with your children, if not on an international holiday, at least in the local park. It doesn’t cost money to lie down or to take a loved one onto your lap.
Nice time to train the employees, create leadership availability and be ready for the wonderful times when they arrive. Hey! Aspects like your health, knowledge development and spiritual growth are not economy dependent.
Time will pass… economy will revive… currency will soon be in current… and in all this, I don’t want you to look back and realize you did nothing but stayed in gloom. Recession can make you lose out on money. Let it not make you lose out on experiences… If you are not happy with what you have, no matter how much more you have, you will still not be happy.
Make a statement with the way you live your life: How I feel has nothing to do with how much I have.
This is a very good article to those who are still single – may learn something from here…. I received this in my email and it surely was thought provoking. Those who are already married can surely enhance their thoughts and relationship through this.
Did I Marry The Right Person?
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, “How do I know if I married the right person?” I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, “It depends. Is that your husband?” In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?” Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.
Here’s the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love… Because it’s happening TO YOU.
People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling is love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, “Did I marry the right person?” And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And temporarily you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in marriage is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.. Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it day in and day out.
That’s why we have the __expression “the labor of love.” Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable…you can “make” love.
“Love in marriage is indeed a “decision”… Not just a feeling No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE. No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice”
This year so far has been so so….and not that great as I would have wanted it to be. But my fourth gear for this year started last week when I flew out for a good long deserved break to hit the Beaches of Miami…!
Don’t miss me too much! I will be back soon with my adventurous flings and swings of Miami!
What a wonderful story with an equally strong moral !!!
A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her.
The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed.
The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised.
That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn’t sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.
Moral of the story: If you don’t give your hundred percent in a relationship, you’ll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent..
This is applicable for any relationship like love, employer-employee relationship, friendship etc. Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully…
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Posted by deepsm25 
Posted by deepsm25 
Posted by deepsm25 
All right, it’s been over a week that I have been back from my most amazing vacation in Miami, Florida and I just seemed to have lost my mojo to write. 
