Archive for the ‘Friends’ category

Living For Those Who Were Once Strangers…

November 9, 2009

image Again a post after a really long time. Its nearly the end of the year, and also happens to be the season of marriages. My four very good friends are getting married back to back with some of their dates clashing as well.

I know its going to be some crazy affair managing to be in all the places and ensuring that I am there for every event. Trust me, it can get really painfully stressful at times.

But strange things do happen…and at times it can only be adventurous.

Isn’t it strange that people come into your life from no where. Then you start spending time wit them. Some stay to become the most integral part of your lives while some leave – making that space for some one else to walk in.

Within the last 10 years I would have never imagined having some people in life or me being in theirs. Purely because I would have never even thought that they would have their existence in my life 🙂

Absolutely nothing to complain about …but I am loving the happiness that these guys have brought along.

The movies, the dinner, the car drives which never really existed, suddenly become the most important part of you. Some of these moments can make your priorities change and its not too soon that you realize that your life automatically by default has started revolving around them. It becomes important for you to see them happy.  It becomes important for you to do things that are important for them. Nothing extreme that you lose focus of other things and others around you..but just a new space that has been created – maybe a new blessing or a new lesson. Who knows!!!

Strange are the joy rides of life. They are funny but they make living your life even more worth living as sometimes you live for some one else apart from you 🙂


Emp

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What is Friendship?

October 10, 2009

image It is that feeling that ensures your survival in the most toughest of times.

Its that feeling which makes you secure that someone is there watching your back.

It is that surety, that you will not sink, but walk out of quick sand.

It is that fire in you, which makes you believe in your own self, when you would have just lost faith in everything else around you.

It has got me through the most toughest times in my life and has made me strong.

It has made me realize loads of things that otherwise I never would have felt.

Yes, it builds and makes you feel.  It makes that heart beat and puts your mind to rest.

Its a relation that believes in you. Its a relation that would make you believe in yourself.

It binds you to those who you feel close about. It makes you humble. It makes you grateful.

It is that unconditional love. It is that promise. It is that serenity. It is that blessing. It is the purest form of strong power that you could feel with someone close.

It’s Friendship!!!

Go On…comment what is Friendship to you???  What does it make you feel? What does it do to you as a person??

Emp

The Place They Hold…Happy Friendship Day!

August 1, 2009

image Maybe my dedication came in too early with a lot of enthusiasm on my post Special Times…Special Gurls…A Special Place… but irrespective of the time or the day, what matters is that you stand up and let those relations know; who always have added a ‘certain bit’ more value in our lives in comparison to the others – how special and meaningful – they make our life.

Some of my favorite Friendships’ Quotes that I have lived by:

“A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away..”

“You cannot say you’ve lost a friend. If a friendship is capable of ending, it is because it never existed.”

“I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.”

“If our friendship depends on time and space, then when we’ve finally overcome Time and space, we’ve destroyed our own friendship.
..Overcome Space and all we have left is Here. Overcome time, and all we have left is Now.”

Happy Friendships Day to One and All. Thank You for being the loyal readers that you have always been, encouraging and pushing me to reach my limits!!!

Emp

What Friendship Is & What It Isn’t – The Interactive Post.

June 20, 2009

image As much as I would have wanted a post completely wholly dedicated to my friends, I thought it to expand my arena and get everyone to contribute as to what people would really think about what friendship is about and what it isn’t. So I sent out an email to a selected list of people asking them to pen down their thoughts to what they really believed, experienced, had thoughts, felt strongly about friendship based on their experiences so far in the relationship, which I could then publish.

We all have a value system for every relationship that we have. We all believe that there is a certain protocol that exists in every relationship on which would lie a certain base of expectations, a certain level of give and take. What is really amazing is that every individual being so different has a different way of building their own value system in the relationship. And I really wanted to tap that. I wanted to know what people thought, and felt or have felt so far in the experiences that they have had.

The best part of this entire experience was, that I was absolutely just amazed, touched, numbed and add another 100 more synonyms to these words which I felt when I started getting responses from people. Below, I reproduce what they have mentioned. Where some people have not had any restrictions in me publishing their names, some have been mentioned in their Abbreviations.

image Friendship Is…

From Kripa Krishnamoorthy: (Kripa replied to me as per below, marking all her friends on CC and dedicating this to them – how cool is that)

  • Being able to pick up where you have left of last. 5 minutes or 5 years. ( Aparna that one is for you)
  • Walking into their home after years, and feeling like you always belong there. ( Kusum that for you)
  • Having a twenty minute chat which makes you feel like you have a refreshed your dreams for life ( Dude!! that’s for the only guy on the CC list – Deepak Ganapathy)

From Charu Raghavan: (Something sooo different, something that I wouldn’t have quite thought of)image

Rather than defining friendship, I’d like to define my idea of a true friend. A true friend is:

  • ..a person who CHOOSES to PARTICIPATE in your life rather than merely OBSERVE it from a distance….. As I see it, most people put the ‘me’ before the ‘us’, sometimes consciously, sometimes not. Preoccupation with the self is natural but most often, it consumes people and defines their existence. Hence, when anybody chooses to go beyond that and participate in another’s life in all genuiness, I’d think its a privilege to have such a friend. When you give a friend or any other relationship space in your life with all  genuineness and trust, the ‘us’ always takes precedence over the ‘me’…and that’s how humanity was meant to be.
  • My conclusion: Friendship is the foundation stone to being human and your best bet at survival. And from personal experience, isolation doesn’t work..coz your true friends always sniff you out! 😉

From Wama Bheda:

  • Reading the mind of your buddy
  • Always being there for your friend
  • Accepting your friend for what he/she is
  • Saying the truth or correcting your friend when you know he/she is wrong
  • A relationship of a lifetime
  • About sharing your life with the special ones
  • Being yourself

From Ryan Lewis:

  • About identity
  • Cohesiveness
  • Being Humble
  • Helpful
  • Encouragement
  • Kicking one’s butt to improve of course

From Vanessa White:image

  • Friendship is most definitely about communicating always.  When one fails to communicate with one’s friends, the friendships break down.  We cannot assume that the other person knows us well enough, to not have to tell them/show them/let them know clearly and openly what is going on with us.
  • Honesty of communication is also the only way to go.  To show respect for our friendships, and for ourselves and the other individual, honesty is a must.  It is really nonnegotiable.
  • Friendship is also about being together, with your friend and in the friendship, when you need each other and when you don’t.  When you are having fun and when you are comfortable, and everything in between.  When we turn our backs on our friends, we turn our backs on those people that enrich and bring joy to our lives.

From KA:

  • It’s about you knowing silently when your friends would need you the most.
  • It’s about sharing that pain more than joy.
  • It’s about fighting for that relationship when it would have turned sour to make it work.

From Anjali R:

  • Friendship is about “Trusting” & listening to “Trust”.
  • It is about believing in your most trusted relationships
  • It is about speaking emotions when words seem far less.
  • It is about communicating, honestly, openly and freely.
  • It is about helping overcome the most toughest challenges in each other’s life “TOGETHER”. It’s about ‘US” and not about ‘ME’
  • It is about being together for a life time, in rains, in storms, in hope, and in the joys and celebration.

From Rajshreee G:

  • About being together Always

I’d like to add a word to the above underlined few words. Friendship is about being together always emotionally/ mentally. It is practically not possible to
maybe physically be together forever. However, I do agree with your friends staying connected emotionally. Distance no matter how large, a true friend can always be with you as we have technology today to support us.

  • Communicating Always

Communicating always: I would partially agree with this. Once again looking at schedules it might get a bit difficult to communicate all the time due to lack of time. However, once again an SMS today can even reach America in 5 seconds. So, if a person would like to communicate he/she can do so very conveniently. However, there are times when we might not do it either coz we have something more important to talk which might need a telephone or personally going and meeting someone and then we wait for a weekend to come. If the communication does take place its good. But usually by the weekend is here we tend to forget and this eventually builds up and then comes the day where you are not in touch with the person.

Friendship Isn’t About…


From Kripa Krishnamoorthy:

  • Judging their decisions however irrational they may be.
  • Letting a misunderstanding cloud over years of connect.(DNM/ Chits, you know what)

From Wama Bheda:

  • About secrets
  • About gains or selfish motives

From Ryan Lewis:

  • One up-man-ship
  • Stabbing one in the back

From Vanessa White:

  • Friendship is not about obligation or “I must do” kind of thing.  Friendship is born out of a desire to be with a person, or people, that we enjoy the company.  That weimage have things in common with.  That we share a dream or a goal with.  Some of my fondest memories in my life are with the friendships that I established when I was in college 25 years ago.  They were strong bonds and were forged in real life situations.
  • Friendship is NOT about ego, or about competition.  When it becomes about that, it is no longer friendship, and there is a lack of honesty in the intention of the relationship.
  • Friendship is not about putting ourselves above another, or putting them below us either.  It is about all of us being on a level playing field, treating each other as peers, collaborators and colleagues rather than competitors.  When competition or ego enters, it destroys trust and it creates power in a relationship that eats it away.
  • Friendship is a must in this life.  We don’t have to have hundreds of friends, but we all need to have them.  I have to say, that some of the most genuine and fun, learning friendships have come to me through my blogging.  I have met some of the most amazing people and when we make friends, the world just opens up for us!!!!

From KA:

  • It’s not friendship, if there is a doubt on the integrity of the one whom you call a friend.
  • It’s not friendship when, you feel unsure about the decisions that your friend would ask you to make for your own good.
  • Its not friendship when, you have not spoken clearly expecting the other to know it all.

From Anjali R:

  • It is not about competing.
  • It is not about having the ego to clarify when things go wrong.
  • It is not about judging the other person.
  • It is not about pointing fingers at the opposite person’s vices.

From Rajshreee G:

  • About Egoimage

Its NEVER NEVER about Ego. However, like I have mentioned in the “communicating always” tab if ignorance takes over keeping in touch, there would be a limit to which you can make efforts. Once that limit is crossed Ego does take over. So there should be a limit to which a friend can give coz its always both ways. Give and take.

  • About Competition.

Only 1 word for this. NEVER. Competition with Friends does not exist in my dictionary no matter what.
Just wanted to say a few more things. I’ve often noticed that at every stage in life you have different friends. As we same some remain some move on. However, I am yet finding answers to a few questions:
1. Why is it that nowadays friendship has become a temporary needful term? Why once the purpose is served people forget friends?
2. Expectations- Should there be any or not? If there should be any then how much?
3. GIVE AND TAKE- The basic of any relationship!! Why is it that we tend to ignore or (take it for granted) only in friendship

Thank You all for sending in such wonderful thoughts and words of wisdom. It’s been absolutely my blessing to have such amazing supportive people around me all the time. A true blessing in disguise. As far as my Definition of what friendship is about….Friendship to me is

“You Guys…” Everything that you are – defines friendship.
Thank You once again

Lots of Luv,
Deeps


PS: I am not in Hibernation even though I know I have been very quite with my blogging. I will be back with a bang and lots more coming up soon, very soon. I am hunting and searching still very hard for that mojo which has left me in a lurch, right in the middle all of a sudden in now where land.

Thankful…

March 22, 2009

image All right! I know I just haven’t got the time to sit and really pen down all that has been happening with me as I just have been buzzing around like a busy bee all over the place. I usually tend to have a lot of thoughts on my mind that I could really blog about, however I then at that moment don’t seem to have anything on me to even just jot it down on a piece of paper and then I forget completely about it.

And trust me, this process has really resulted in a lot of my thoughts getting completely vanished as I just can’t remember what I thought, I would write about.

Anyway, the past week has been extremely busy at work and I have also been partying and going out a lot. I was at Firangi Paani in the middle of the week, celebrating someone’s birthday and again out the very next week – again on a week day at Indus. Now, if I really have to state a review in just one line comparing the two places, I really think Indus was any day better than Firangi Paani which was completely rip-off in terms of its main course which was really horrible. The music at Firangi Paani was just about the oldies classic while Indus really pepped up the atmosphere after 11pm – which of course was good enough to encourage me to hit the dance floor. Firangi Paani was steep, but the drinks and appetizers were not that bad.

And of course, again this Saturday I was having dinner at Caravan Serai with a bunch of pals – an authentic Indian food along with the atmosphere that matched the traditional Indian theme. Good service, good drinks and food. Sunday was again with some really old pals at a Cafe Ivy with just pastas and salads and wine. So that’s really been a very busy two social weeks and but very fulfilling from the bottom of my heart for which I have just been really grateful as I know a lot of people out there don’t have what I do – fulfilling weekends with a bunch of really nice people. I am grateful and thankful!

Will You Make Me Stay…?

March 8, 2009

This post was inspired and triggered by Tell Me Wonders post – “Friends”. A post that makes me realize and believe that in our earnest excitement to always make that new relationship work, we tend to over step on the old ones not realizing and even remembering the moments that we may have had with the old and how they would have made us feel that time.

New relationships will always happen & new people will always come! Just because you have a significant other, or you are married, or you have just got that other special person in your life recently; it doesn’t give you the right to hurt, ignore those people in your life who were once upon a time around whom all your days, (especially the bad days) or your world revolved around.

And if that happens, then it is a very strong signal about -the real truth, honesty and more importantly the depth and the strength of your friendship- not to forget the narrow minded thinking of your friend.

image Friends are meant to be “FOREVER” – Whether that significant other is also meant to be or not. It doesn’t and shouldn’t change the placing of your best friends in your life. Excuses about being busy and not having time are always there to help you to constantly live in denial to not being in touch with your friends – but can the INSIDE of YOU will always know the real truth! Can you live in denial with your conscience? How long will you continue to lie to your own self?

The basic perspective for me would be – if you couldn’t treat your best friends with whom you have been friends for donkeys years the way they should be, how on earth are really going to be able to justify/maintain/understand the value and importance of your relationship with your significant other? Isn’t the meaning of having that special someone also meaning that he/she is your best friend in everything?

If you were not able to treat your friends for what they were actually to you in accordance to the tall claims that you made of your friendship every now and then how are you going to treat your significant other? Some where down the line, the truth will always show!

Isn’t there a saying – what goes around will always come around; Or the saying which means that a person can be clearly identified and recognized for who he is based on how he treats those who serve on his table. That would be a waiter or a complete stranger; this is a “FRIEND”!

The base for any relationship is friendship. If you couldn’t place your deserving friends at an important place in your life {the place that they so rightly deserve} and bring on the new placements by erasing those who probably meant the world to you – then surely you are a person who is being rightly recognized for who you are. Your friends will see it and more than them it will be the inner you who will feel it when those people have been pushed away for good.

Saying Sorry….

January 11, 2009

Ever wondered why Taureans apologize to the floor or Cancerians hate saying “Sorry”! Here’s how some signs say “Sorry”, some try, some try real hard, while some never even try.

Aries
They are sure they have done nothing that demands apology. Sorry to say, but ‘Sorry’ is the last thing you can expect from them. And if they do it, it sounds as if they are talking to themselves. If you hear it, you are lucky.


Taurus

Taureans apologize to the ground. They will never see you in the eye, while uttering the dreadful word. They wait for the maximum damage to happen before apologizing. After all, one murder or two murders, you can be hanged only once.


Gemini

Gemini’s are perfect people – at least that’s what they feel. And the best part is that if they realize they’ve made a mistake, they know how to act ignorant. Criminals can take a crash course from them in beating the lie detector. Such innocent souls, they will make you feel guilty for expecting an apology from them.


Cancer

Cancerians go a step further that Gemini’s. They force you to jump off a cliff for even imagining a sorry from them. They will burn their Rolls Royce, but never say sorry to guy they ran into. They hurt themselves. And they keep doing it till you start feeling sorry for yourself and decide never ever to seek an apology from them.


Leo

Leos love attention and contrary to the belief, they love apologizing. For them, it’s just another way to get noticed. They will send you flowers, they will cook for you ?..imagine it they can do it. Greeting card makers love them, as they buy almost all the “Sorry” cards.


Virgo
Logic takes over, when it’s time for a Virgo to apologize. Saying sorry would be on their job list for the day. They need time to prepare themselves and even memorize their apologies. There’s actually a script…a proper sequence of dialogues, needless to say, taking your reactions into considerations as well. Forget about Oscar speeches?this one’s a winner all the way.


Libra
Librans are very vocal when they know their mistake. You won’t find a better sign, when it’s about saying sorry. They feel their apologies. Now that’s one achievement. Leos can pretend for attention, but Librans – they never stammer while saying “Sorry”.


Scorpio
Scorpions will say ‘Sorry’ a hundred times, but never mean it. So don’t get fooled. They will not face you?they do it over the phone, send a card, sms or an email. The reason – they believe doing something wrong is no big deal. You still need a sorry from them!


Sagittarius
“Sorry” doesn’t feature in their vocabulary. They will never ever say the word; you put a gun to their head; they would rather take the shot than apologize. You make one mistake, and they need a sorry, just one would do.


Capricorn
Capricornians have been trying hard to eradicate ‘Sorry’ from the face of this earth for ages. They choose not to remember it. But you make one mistake – and you are dead. They need apologies in every way – sms, email, phone call, letter – whatever form of communication you can imagine and was ever invented. And your reason better be convincing as well.


Aquarius
They believe in damage control. They may not apologize, but they try every bit to undo their mistake. Actions speak more than words. Aquarians definitely know that.


Pisces
Pisceans have a mind of their own. What’s wrong for you is right for them, so what’s the apology for – a different perspective! They force you to change your perception. Do not ever expect an apology from them. If you get one, you qualify for all the record books.


So now you know what to expect when someone you know makes a mistake. Keep a check on your expectations accordingly.