Archive for May 2008

Inevitable Change!

May 19, 2008

Whoever said change is inevitable hit bull’s eye with that statement. Change in its various forms is a must for the growth of our minds, for our individual self and the way we see and perceive things. Can you just imagine a world without ideas, innovations and developments? Can we imagine living in the same season through out the 12 months in a year? 

Its change, within oneself, our personal life’s that help us accept the changes in the environment around us. It’s a topic that can be spoken about in pages and have been spoken about in books, media in its vast numbers.

The real picture is – change is not always is easy for a lot of people. Sometimes, I really fail to understand as to why people are so stuck up in life with their stringent thought processes that they will follow the same rule in their book for ages to come. Its an understandable thought that they probably don’t want to implement that particular change in their life, but at least to come to a point to look at it with an open mind seems a struggle as well. Don’t implement if you don’t want to and if you can’t for whatever reasons that you may have, but even a minute spent on thinking that there may be a different side to it, does stretch your mind to think and make it open. How would one know that it is not good for them, if they haven’t really tried it and given it its due chance? 

I have some really funny friends. They have attachment with the things that they use in their daily life. Some of them can’t just throw away their old shoes till they find an exact similar pair, look, design etc in the shops. People probably just do get used to living the old way, that they may have been living, but give it a thought that change might be just as beautiful as their old ways. Some changes may just turn around and change the way we live and think. It’s just the acceptance factor, the sooner we accept, the better we realize what we may have been losing out on. I know for a fact that changes in relationships are not always the ones that come by very easily to individuals however the acceptance that the change might actually be a blessing in disguise. 

We make a difference in our lives through change – good or bad. Even changes that we may perceive are wrong are out to give some message – it’s only if we choose to read it the right way. Live “NEW” or Die “Old” – will be a choice that we make for ourselves.

PS: Gone for a nice Vacation, Miss me for two weeks! Cheers


The Silent Zone!

May 16, 2008

All I have spoken in my last blogs have been the importance of relationships and people in our life. However, what I really missed out was the importance of certain “places” in our lives as well. 

There have been quite a few structural renovations taking place at my work. Here the total employee strength would be nearly 5000 or so. A lot of construction workers are moving around about in the building either polishing up, painting or carpenters building or repairing some or the other corner in my workplace.

The floor plan of my workplace is completely on the ground floor and divided into two wings. One is the east wing – which has been the initial floor that they had converted from a mill to a corporate workspace and then bought the extending floor space in the next couple of months, which is now called the west wing. The west wing looks far more branded, furbished & spacious in comparison to the east wing considering that the management probably spent some good amount of time planning and doing a better job at constructing it in comparison to the east wing. 

The floor space of the entire office {East + West} is really huge and inter connected as well. The more interesting bit here is – that if you need to walk from the East wing to the West wing, it would be an easy 10 minutes walk to return back to your workspace. My entire department has been housed in the east wing. 

The essential need and greed for any employee working anywhere would be to have this really palatial, hygienic, clean, quiet & a peaceful restroom. We have one small restroom in the east wing {pretty decently spaced out, clean and hygienic} which is basically just off my workstation. Then another one in the transit area {the size of a donut, which cannot take more than four people} on your way towards the west wing and the last one which is like a palace in the west wing itself – which is right at the farthest and opposite corner to the east wing and empty, usually deserted & peaceful. 

This Monday, everyone’s week started off with a surprise when they entered office. We all saw this huge cardboard type structure made out of wood right outside our East Wing restroom and when we all opened our mail boxes, there was this nicely drafted apologetic mail expressing their deepest apology that the east wing restroom would be under renovation for another 3-4 weeks. 

The expressions and the “Oh my God” gasps could be heard from every nook and corner of the East wing. It was as if our most loved café had shut down. There were discussions about how much time it would take to go to either the Transit Area Restroom or to the West Wing. Everyone knows that the Transit Area Restroom cannot really hold more than 4 people at a time; so for a lot of people their expressions consisted of “that would mean – that many at times there would be a railway reservation counter queue” and for those impatient individuals who don’t like waiting in queues or are in dire emergencies would have to walk up all the way from the East to the last corner of the West wing {did I say “walk up” in dire emergencies? Let me rephrase and say “Making that DASH” to the West Wing} 

On Monday, I was sitting and painting pictures in my head how people would be holding on to their pants and getting up and making that dash across the hallway to the west wing. Wouldn’t that be a real sight? Everyone would know where he/she is headed. 😛 Nasty Me!

However, what I really didn’t think of was that how creative the girls would be in this and will make it a more fascinating journey every day for the next four weeks. The girls at workplace have come up with a most innovative solution for this. They now get up and ask around if anyone else wants to join them. Seems like a pack of leopards that publicly initiate the announcement of their need & then go for their kill with a task and a force. {It’s a relief to know that, they ask each other to join for the “journey” and not for the “activity” itself}

So these days it’s the usual norm, I would see a pack of bees in a bunch out together either on their way upwards or downwards. Some bunches have really buzzed by me like a wind at 100 kmph. {Ah! Well it’s their “forceful wind”}

Phew! So whenever you now visit your conveniently located peaceful zone; never forget to bow your head to them in a heartfelt gratitude for being just right there when you needed them.

Living In Denial…

May 12, 2008

I have been reading some stuff on a subject which describes the emotion of denial. I was curious to know what makes people deny certain things so strongly from the outset when they know from within that the truth is exactly opposite to what they are actually denying.  They deny just out of their ego or some other factors and hence are unable able to embrace the reality and truth with open wide arms. 

It’s strange, they know the real truth. They have been living in this reality from a very long time but talking about it out seems to be a challenge for them. Denying becomes a self defense mechanism where the individual is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence.

I would believe that there would be numerous kinds and types of denial and it may exists in its various forms within different kind of people. Some may deny the feeling for the other; it may be denying love or may deny the resentment for the other – probably in an attempt to save the relationship. Some may live in this feeling of denial because of norms, beliefs, values, traditions, peoples reactions and oppositions. These people wouldn’t want to break out of the barriers that already existed in the society since mediveal era. These norms and traditions may have been passed down from generations, therefore encountering something alltogether new which doesn’t seem to fit into the rule book gets them into a strong denial mode.

Some denial involves avoiding personal responsibility by blaming, minimizing or justifying. The other may be a person who is avoiding to think about or understand the harms their behavior have caused to themselves or others. By doing this, that person is able to avoid feeling a sense of guilt and it can prevent that person from developing remorse or empathy for others.

Denial isn’t something to be confused with changing ones habits that needed a change from a long time. This can be a difficult concept for many people to identify in themselves, but is a major barrier to changing hurtful behaviors. Denial of denial involves thoughts, actions behaviors & emotions which can cause a break down of  confidence that nothing needs to be changed in one’s personal behavior.

It does go far to an extent that during the process of denial, we eventually get used to beleiving that it is the right thing to deny. Its becomes a comfort that denying is something that will protect you and those around you.

Deny and one wouldn’t grow, nor would be able to see an open minded perspective. The real aspect here would be, how long would they continue to deny what they are and if in the end it really gives them those results in the same form in which they truly and always desired. Would it really be an honest connection and confession from within ones soul and what they always truly felt?

It’s FAITH – Not FATE!

May 11, 2008

Its Story Time.

Heard the story of the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth’s right to Passage?

His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.

He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own. The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!

Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm. We, too, are never alone. Even when we don’t know it, God is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.

Moral of the story: Just because you can’t see God, doesn’t mean He is not there. “For we walk by “FAITH” – not by sight”.

Maybe you cannot see it – but the faith is instilled in each one of us, in our hearts. The word “Faith” by itself is a powerful word. From the time I started working I used to have this post it stuck up on my computer screen that said “Confidence”, “Faith” & “Motivation”. They have been my mantras in life and have always worked wonders for me.

I believe “Keep the Faith – and the good comes to you. If you felt that it was the bad that came to you – then maybe it was time for you to re- assesses what you believed in all this while and re-define what you feel is good or bad. Moreover, it’s through only the bad experiences that we grow and learn.”

So Keep the FAITH – And you are going to be just fine! After all, its FAITH that can change your FATE!

Presence In Time!

May 9, 2008

I have been in and heard a lot of discussions about life after death and what happens to the soul once it departs our body. Whenever, someone or a group of people have initiated these discussions in front of me, my mind crops up questions as to why these folks contemplate so much about life “AFTER” death?

  • Have we finished living our life currently – in the right ways?
  • Have we lived our life to the fullest – enjoying and fulfilling every dream that we may have dreamt of?
  • Have we finished or done with walking those fruitful paths of being kind, being generous, being polite, or being helpful?
  • Have we helped and been there for those who must have ever needed us – in their most silent ways wished for our presence?
  • Have we really given a thought to the way we live at present in the current second?
  • Have we truly given it a thought if we ever need to change the way we live and accommodate those whom we love so dearly even more than we ever did? 
Once these days go by, they never come back. Seconds of time are passing by us everyday. If only we could truly spend some time really focusing on how we are living and passing each day by – I am sure most of us would come across something or at least one thing that we would need to change in the way we live at present.

Be it changing for someone we truly love or making some changes in our daily lifestyle to accommodate those who really need us. Wouldn’t this by itself be contentment and a peace making moment within your soul? Shouldn’t I call this a satisfying living by itself? 

It’s about focusing on every single day of our lives – our current presence in time, rather on something which we don’t know about. I may have mixed feelings about the laws of karmas. The reason being, I haven’t been there and still have lot of time yet to know what will happen to me after my death 🙄 – but I do know that I can be happy at this point in time and probably do the things that would make my loved ones happy as well. Easier said than done – but it’s possible! I wish to live my presence in my time.

Stay Happy & Be Positive!





Strangers In An Hour Glass!

May 5, 2008

I was in a behavioral training the last three Fridays. It was a mad house class with so many fun loving folks. It was interesting to realize how people perceive at the first instance and then with more time spent, their perceptions about the others change completely. We met just on three Fridays just for 8 hours a day – it was just amazing to see how well we got along with each other.

We had our share of fun in the class and our moments of being solemn. These moments of being solemn were not only out of respect when the other was sharing a dim moment of their life’s but also because there was a feeling to being able to feel what that person was feeling.

Sharing an incident where they lost someone or someone being able to help the other who was a complete stranger to them didn’t quite come easy to a lot of them. There were some that spoke about how their defining moments in their own life changed them forever, while some spoke about what inspired them in their life to be able to get where they were today. The air was full with every individual hearts being able to relate to that persons experience. There was this silence which spoke about how the others who were listening in rapt attention also felt what that individual was talking about.

Isn’t this absurd, before the training we all were strangers to each others. None knew who the other was. None knew anything about each other’s lives; yet we landed up sharing some of our most personal moments in front of everyone and derived comfort and encouragement from the others as well.

Strange but true that by the last session – there was not only celebration galore of being able to celebrate ones birthdays with a nice big white forest cake but also this thought – Strangers in your life will always come around to be able to teach you something. And if they have taught you something with their own personal incidents or made you think about something in your own life – Were They Really Strangers?