Archive for August 2008

Friendship.

August 30, 2008

This aspect completely rules my life. It’s my food, my water, my electricity, my air, my land that I walk on and the sea that I swim in. My life revolves on this tomato sauce which is the base that I would use first on my pizza bread before putting on any more toppings. It’s the only relationship that I feel is the base before you make any more relationships.

I believe if you can’t be a good friend, then you can’t be a good father, mother, brother, sister, husband, fiancée etc. It’s the foundation and a brick wall for every relationship.

Everyone has their own description of a “true friend”. Each one of us has a clear picture on what an ideal friendship is according to them. This is my picture of what friends and friendship is all about:

1. A friend to me is someone whom I can be myself with, without having to pretend to be someone whom I am not.

2. A friend to me is someone with whom I can have the conversation about any god damn thing in this world without realizing the time on the clock.

3. A friend to me is someone with whom, I say exactly what I want to say; someone with whom I don’t need to choose my words – and who understands that this is who I am.

4. A friend to me is someone, who would sit down and talk and communicate with me and explain very practically about why he/she feels I would be doing something wrong.

5. A friend to me is someone who doesn’t judge me as a person, just because I am unable to get along with my parents or spouse.

6. A friend to me is someone who believes in my judgment and gives me that space to make my mistakes and helps me correct the same.

7. A friend to me is someone who gives me that sense of comfort and a feeling of security in the relationship that no matter if anyone tries to influence him/her against it – nothing would hamper this relationship.

8. A friend to me is someone who never gives up on you and your strengths – becomes a walking talking positive idol, who speaks positivity when you are feeling negative.

9. A friend to me is someone who will defend me in front of strangers and slap me when alone if I did something wrong.

10. A friend to me is someone who believes in the relationship of friendship.

I hereby very confidently state, that the above are not my check list for making new friends but something that I will be to all my worthy friends who have given me all of the above and make my friendship with them something with which I would always want to live by.

Raise a Toast to say Cheers to the most beautiful relationship in this whole world – Friendship.

Genres of Distance.

August 30, 2008

In mathematics, Distance = Rate x Time. Create a distance with a person, place, habit, or a thing; the rate and time that you create it with equates to its relevant size or type of distance. Multiplying the factors of rate and time, adds on to your size of “Distance”.

How truly it gets implied in our lives as well? The word itself makes you think how far have you gone or travelled. You may have travelled very far from home, or just plainly are distant with your own self. You can also be one of those people where distance may have made your heart grow fonder and worked wonders in your personal life or one of those people who would have distanced themselves with a habit that you would have carried on for years all together.

Distance, can you run away from it or should you? Is it a pro or a con in your life?

In professional life, distance works great. Imagine being away from work, on a nice long forever lasting vacation sitting by the beach blogging. {Oh! How much I crave for that} Or just being plainly away from that nagging boss, or annoying colleagues and have never to remember office politics for a while.

In personal life, you may be creating a distance by breaking off from some normal routine or simply just a loved one. While in your professional life, having that phase of distance would be something that you would really crave for it to happen and would intentionally bring it on; in your personal life it would be the hardest thing to go through.

Imagine having to distance yourself from a sport that you would have always loved the most, or having to distance yourself from an everyday routine that you have been always addicted to.

In relationships, distance at times can work for the best or the worst. It can help you reflect on how much the opposite person would mean to you, or make you reflect on if it’s really worth it.

The genres of distance in relationships would not be as simple as the one you would create for yourself in your professional life. Two individuals may have mutually decided to stay apart for some time to reflect back on the base, strength and the foundation of their relationships to then come together and have an open ended discussion about it. The rate of the distance here would be controlled and decided by consent and communication.

However, at times certain people would create distance without any such mutual consideration. It just happens to be a completely one sided affair without any clarity or information of their thoughts.

These are the types that I personally and so completely detest. No one would understand what’s really going on. None of the parties are clear as to where they are heading leading to a complete non directional relationship.

Then there would come a time that the situation would be so tense and so uncomfortable that the smallest of innocent action from either of the side would become a big sensitive issue.

Along with distance, another demon would come along to play the monkey in between – “Time”. The longer the time gap, the longer you would go without any verbal or non verbal communication. Both would feel really uncomfortable and jittery to come together and speak it out.

Now, human beings have this uncanny sense of realization to be able to realize what’s happening. If they still choose not to speak up and allow the time monkey to continue to play in their life, they would then reach a point that none of them would be able to broach the topic anymore leading to a complete dead end and a point of no return for that relationship.

Honestly speaking, I hate any kind of distances in my personal life even those that I know may not be any good for me. The reason being, that I believe anything and everything can come to a conclusion by a simple channel of communication and an open minded discussion.

Doesn’t matter even if you reach that conclusion of not being able to be together anymore, at least you would have had the sense of satisfaction of getting your point heard and vice versa along being clear what went wrong in the first place to ensure that it never repeats itself again.

Clarity and communication is something that I would choose to be my Iron men to avoid any kind of distant situations. Life is way too short to allow such demons to play with our life’s and people whom we so care about.

Feed the Iron Men not the Demons.

The Master Painting.

August 28, 2008

Once upon a time there was a painter who had just completed his course under a disciple hood of a great painter. This young artist decided to assess his skills of skills so he decided to give his best strokes on the canvass.

He took 3 days and painted beautiful scenery. Suddenly an idea flashed in his mind and he decided to display it on a busy street-square of that small town he was resident of. He wanted people’s opinion about his caliber and painting skills. He put his creation at a busy street-crossing. And just down below a board which read-

“Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I am new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. Please put a cross wherever you see a mistake.”

While he came back in the evening to collect his painting he was completely shattered to see that whole canvass was filled with Xs (crosses) and some people had even written their comments on the painting.

Disheartened and broken completely he ran to his master’s place and burst into tears. Sobbing and crying inconsolably he told his master about what happened and showed the pathetic state of his creation which was filled with marks everywhere.

Such was the state that colors were not visible, only things one could see were crosses and correction remarks. This young artist was breathing heavily and master heard him saying “I am useless and if this is what I have learnt to paint I am not worth becoming a painter. People have rejected me completely. I feel like dying”.

Master smiled and suggested “My Son, I will prove that you are a great artist and have learnt a flawless painting.”

Young disciple couldn’t believe it and said “I have lost faith in me and I don’t think I am good enough. Don’t make false hopes.”

“Do as I say without questioning it. It WILL work.” Master interrupted him.

“Just paint exactly similar painting once again for me and give it to me. Will you do that for your master?.” Master instructed.

Young artist reluctantly agreed and two days later early morning he presented a replica of his earlier painting to his master. Master took that gracefully and smiled.

“Come with me.” master said.

They reached the same street-square early morning and displayed the same painting exactly at the same place. Now master took out another board which read –

“Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I am new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. I have put a box with colors and brushes just below. Please do a favor. If you see a mistake, kindly pick up the brush and correct it.”
 
Master and disciple walked back home.

They both visited the place same evening. Young painter was surprised to see that actually there was not a single correction done so far. But master wasn’t satisfied as yet and he told his disciple “May be one day was too little a time for people to come up with ideas and take out time out of their busy schedules to correct it so let us keep it here for one more day. Tomorrow is Sunday, so we can expect some corrections coming in.”

Next day again they visited and found painting remained untouched. They say the painting was kept there for a month for no correction came in!

Moral of the Story: It is easier to criticize, but difficult to improve.

We do this all the time, and most often very unconsciously as well. We do not like something in the opposite person, or do not appreciate what the other actually has. Yes, there may be something that the opposite person may be doing to offend us, but there maybe strengths that they carry as well or just a different perspective to life than us.

Sometimes, it becomes very easy for us to consciously or unconsciously become very strong in our mind with a set belief that the action of the other would definitely lead us or them to some problem or mess, without actually completely thinking through that if we know and identified that it’s a problem or it’s going to be a potential problem – do we also have a solution to offer for it before we point the same to the other.

Have we thought about the different options that we could give them or suggestions and offer to help them instead of writing them off and completely discouraging them.

Every problem has a solution. For every impossible there is a possible. Do it and then say it or hold your guns off forever.

One For The Women!

August 27, 2008

In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what 60 Minutes (CBS) Correspondent Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40.

“As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, ‘What are you thinking?’ She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting.

 Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

 For all those men who say, ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’, here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig
 just to get a little sausage!”

 

 

ROFL, what say you Men out there? And, of course the ladies as well.

Cannibal Breakfast.

August 27, 2008

I have been just smiling away at this one, even though it’s just a plain humorous joke, in reality it’s the real truth.

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. 

Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu…

Tourist: $5

Broiled Missionary: $6.00

Fried Explorer: $7.00

Baked Democrat: $100.00

Grilled Republican: $100.00
       
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked,  “Why such a price difference for the Politicians?”
      
The cook replied, ‘Have you ever tried to clean one?

They’re so full of shit, it takes all morning.

I admire the gut and zest of Sanjay Nirupam, who went to Big Boss Season 2 to try and get this image of politicians all cleaned up. I pray and hope to some extent he was successful, even though he was the first one to get voted off.

The real point was that the politicians always do know what the general public thinks about them.

The general public in turn also knows what they know about their politicians, however the irony is that still the same people are still in power. What’s going wrong?

I would love to see Laloo Prasad Yadav and his likes up on Big Boss getting monitored everyday 24/7, trust me the shows TRP ratings will just sky rocket.

PS: I know I have been really quiet off late, however been really caught up with a lot of things happening together, hopefully in the next couple of weeks I will be back with the same bang as before.

A Minute Of Your Time…

August 21, 2008

At times in our life we need to keep some time aside to re-invest back in the society that we live in. It’s not always necessary that you always invest back only in terms of money, but we could invest and re-invest back in terms of the time we can contribute to a cause.

So here, I got lucky and found a very good opportunity to do so by just spending a minute of my time.

A horrible disease of Inter-cranial Hypertension has ingulfed our fellow blogger in a lot of pain and now there is this project that has come up which American Express is ready to fund to find some cure, based on the votes of people

http://ambermoon.wordpress.com/2008/08/21/will-you-give-a-moment-of-your-time-for-those-who-suffer/

Go on people, let’s do it. Just spending a minute of your time can help develop a cure for a disease that can help a lot of people who are just living every single minute and second in pain which they so rightly do not deserve.

Thoughts and Words…

August 20, 2008

A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn’t get along with her mother-in-law at all.

Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law’s habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.

Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting.

But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li’s poor husband a great deal of stress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law’s bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it. Li-Li went to see her father’s good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs.

She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.

Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, “Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you.”

Li-Li said, “Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do.” Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, “You can’t use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving.

Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspects you, when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. “Don’t argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen.” Li-Li was so happy.

She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.

Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn’t had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law’s attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in- law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter.

Li-Li’s husband was very happy to see what was happening. One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again She said, “Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law. She’s changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her.”

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. “Li-Li, there’s nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her.”

Have we ever realized that how we treat others is exactly how they will treat us? There is a wise Chinese saying: “The person who loves others will also be loved in return.” God might be trying to work in another person’s life through you.

It does happen at a very unconscious level that we do tend to treat people in a certain way only because we have a certain set of beliefs that we have always followed, without realizing that there can be a different point of view with the other person as well. We may not always believe what the other person believes in or agrees to what the opposite person might always want to follow – it’s just that everyone is different and definitely entitled to their view point.

What actually makes us larger is that we respect and understand to have an open mind to let the views of others flow into our minds and if not required; let them flow out as well. Who knows, at times we may even learn something from the person who will always tend to disagree with. At times, they might be the real cause why your life got changed forever.