Chemical Friendship…

“Chemistry” is the term that I have always heard has been mainly used to describe “marriage” and something that exists only between spouses. In that case, how would you describe a bond between two best friends or two soul mates? Isn’t Chemistry a Bond?

Soul Mates – as friends would know what the other person feels without any speaking a word. Soul Mates who can read each others mind just by looking at each other. Soul Mates – who will be opposites but still share something common – themselves. By their actions above, won’t they be depicting chemistry with their body language towards each other?

Probably a lot of you would question the extent of the physical chemistry that they would share and then probably term it as appropriate or inappropriate based on the societies we live. I would “purposely” choose to question the extent of their emotions that they share and what are their emotions based on to decide on its appropriateness.
Example: Two people, who have known each other for donkey’s years as friends, are emotionally attached to have/ leading into physical endearments to be able to make a relationship stronger by transfer of their positive energies that the other may need to another leading to a very secure {no non interferences of anyone}, happy, positive and a stable relationship. In comparison to two people, who just meet, feel the law of attraction and get physical and have a relationship based on the same.

What is physical chemistry even between married couples anyways?

• Being able to understand each other.
• Are very comfortable in each others company.
• Are able to talk about anything and everything under the sun.
• Showcase understanding through the most unexpressive ways.
• Showcase love and affection through verbal and physical endearments.

Can’t the above hold true even in friendship?

To answer those who may land up asking me what really triggered this blog? Simple, there does exists chemistry between friends in its most pure form. It’s something to notice and feel to be able to believe in the same. Yes, a better word that people may choose to describe with it will be a “Bond”, however calling it “chemistry” doesn’t signify it being any different, cheap or vulgar.

Over the weekend, I was out for dinner with these two friends of mine who have been best friends/soul mates since they have known each other. It was so appealing to see how they greeted each other when they came face to face, then never have a straightforward conversation without landing into a fight or an argument but still being able to showcase that “chemistry of endearments” towards each other. My heart went numb. I felt what they felt for each other amongst those power trip arguments they had – but were back to explaining and showcasing through their eyes, hands, words and endearments that they would still be there for each other. Can a friendship get any more beautiful than that?

Physicality between friends does have a lot of positive aspects to it. It’s probably a very non expressive way to transfer a caring side of you to another. A transfer of positive needful physical energy that takes place would be able to complete the need of the other. Its proven that it may increase your immunity levels that you just feel more healthier and better from within your soul {sounds corny? well it’s a proven research by a friend – I so agree she can’t get any cornier than that 😉 }

Jokes apart, this may get most of you to think or many of you to strongly oppose the concept of physical chemistry between friends – but nonetheless to oppose this concept you would still be thinking {hopefully with an open mind}

If you can still look around or even give it a thought, something like this would be there probably even in your existing friendship right now – probably, its just waiting for you to realize, accept and endure it rather than hesitate with it.  

My Worthy Gem – Are You Really Worth It?

Many of us would have had or still have relationships {friends/family} which have gone or currently maybe are going sour thanks to the “DISTANCE” factor. By distance, I don’t mean geographical, it’s the distance from the heart.

Some misunderstanding, difference of opinion, a minor argument leads you to not talking or having conversations with your loved one. Distance creates an ICE and along with it a selfish ego which will act like a nosy neighbour and would always be making a statement in your head “Why should I be the first one, to make a move to break the ice and always make that effort to get back”? Maybe, the opposite person feels the same.

Days go by, where both the individuals would not make the move to re-kindle their most loved relationship; creating further Ego Clashes, longer distances – basically leading no where; helping no one and certainly not helping the relationship to grow.
 
If you are at any of the above mentioned stages in your life – just stop and ask yourself the following questions:

1) Is it helping you in anyways or is it that is making you worse?
2) Are you getting any pleasure by holding on to an EGO?
3) What truly, are you really getting out of by putting yourself in pain? AND the main one
4) Is it really worth it?

If the answers to the above are in negative then don’t you feel, its time you get up and take some responsibility for your actions and break the ice. Pick up the phone and call the person, or send an email – do whatever but don’t let your most adored relationship go for a toss just because of ego issues. Maybe just a plain apology would do the trick even if it’s not your fault. Be assured – “Relationships are based on conversations”.

Sometimes, it doesn’t matter even if you have made your move and the opposite person did not quite respond to the way you would have expected them to – just know that in your heart you did your best. You were honest and you gave an honest effort in trying to break the ice in getting your relationship and your loved one back.

There are always exceptions to the rule: Maybe you are one of those, who have been categorically told not to make any moves to re-kindle the relationship – well, in this case, I couldn’t agree more that it has now become very important for you to know if they care or not. If they genuinely did love and care about you – I am sure you will see them making their moves. Guess, it’s just a matter of time – you would realize if it was really meant to be.

However, my main intention here is, if you do not fall in the exceptional category – then do stop and ask your heart – Is it really worth it – by keeping your EGO high and letting it destroy everything that you might have had. Wouldn’t you spend these same days with your loved one rather than pondering over the times you have had and missing them. What one really forgets here is that Time once gone, it never comes back. Never let distances, communication gaps or especially EGO’s come in your way.

Is it REALLY WORTH IT? Are you really getting anywhere? – is the real question of the day!

The Phenomenon of a Woman…

Tomorrow is my Grandma’s 93rd Birthday. A woman of substance!  A woman; who has lived life to the most extreme hardship’s and still stands strong as a rock. She is an example of an exemplary courage. She’s been through the India Pakistan Partition, where her own house was looted in front of her own eyes, moving on at the age of 74 she saw the Bombay Serial Blasts [My Previous Post – A Tribute] and stood out with 94 stitches to her body to define that nothing can beat her along with many such incidents that she has seen.

She has been a daughter, a wife, a daughter in law, a mother, an aunt, a grandmother and grand grand mother. Each of those roles that are played by her is to her maximum and best. She has stood tall for me whenever anything went wrong in my life. Talking about guardian angels, I have seen mine in her. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t pray to the Almighty to bless her. She has been through hell and out in her own life when they barely had anything to even have a full fledged meal per day but always ensured her kids ate first. When she narrates those incidents to me today, it makes me wonder, if I could have ever lived through those toughest times that she has seen. She still continues to feed everyone else first in the house, before she feeds her own self. She is the true meaning and definition of being a Selfless Soul. I wish I become or am able to become at least half as her to the people whom I love.

At that age, she is a by far a phenomenon. She is the spirit of a woman. I love her to pits and would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for her. I feel hell loads as I write this, and knowing she doesn’t read English and nor I would be able to express this out as much as I wished I could, but I am unable to express it anymore.All I can say, that I am incomplete without her. She is what I need everyday, every minute and every second in my life.  She is the only definition that I have ever known, seen and recognized of what everyone call’s as a “Mother”.

Happy Birthday Mummy….Hope you have many more.

 

 

I am the Truth…

Its 4am right now, and I am up. I don’t know why or how I suddenly woke up as I ain’t the kind to get up like this from a deep slumber. No, there is nothing drastically wrong in my life – but still I am up.

May be its one of those times, that I am trying to fix something that is not currently that right in my life. But at the same time, I am very practically aware that if a toy is broken from both the sides, it needs to be fixed both ways or it will serve no purpose. I am sure, that again, if something needs to get fixed, it will.

I have had a good life so far – had my share of ups and downs, the right and the wrong people. But for the first time, I feel what I am trying to fix at 4pm, isn’t something thats wrong at all. I am dead sure about it as I know thats the ultimate truth for me. It’s as if you know what your instincts are the only truth you know and feel. If any other person is able to trust you enough to know that there is nothing but the Truth about you.

My poetic streak is coming out : {may not ryhme at all}
I am the truth.
I was always the truth.
I will be the truth.
I will remain as a truth in my life and yours.
I will linger on as a a force of something that was True.
A belief that was strong to counter anything.
A force that made me understand and accept nothing but the Truth
I was the Truth.
I will be the Truth.
I am the Truth.

It may sound as if I am “TRYING” to re-affirm something – I am not as its simply the Truth 🙂

A Cheated Soul !

Disclaimer: Anything relating to anyone living or dead is purely co-incidental except me.

Ever came a day in your life, when you felt, you were got taken away by your own emotions? Ever realized and reflected about your emotions in a relationship which turned around and cheated you itself.

At a point in our lives, we all have had or heard of broken relationships, broken friendships, broken marriages etc. What is the thought process after something is broken? Don’t you feel, as if what you earlier felt in that relationship is all false now in this present? Don’t you feel, as if you got cheated by your own emotions?

It will be a reflection in trance back on the words of what that individual communicated to you at that time.

If he / she said “I care” will now feel a complete bull shit.

If he / she said “I love you” will now feel like what crap – even though this is the most strongest of all that is said to make a real difference to the opposite person.

If he / she said “I will always be there” will now feel like “ya right, sure”!If he / she said “Nothing will break us” – will now make you feel as if you cannot trust anyone anymore.

 

If he / she really cared why would you feel that you got taken away as a complete granted relationship?

You got close to someone really who was your soul, happy that you were – went on to think, relationships never get any better than this.

Here, it isn’t anyone’s fault at all, it’s your heart that did play certain kind of care free board game to make you feel nice for that time. Your emotions for that individual probably even changed you or some aspect about you. Or maybe you even changed some aspects about yourself that your loved one did not like about you or found it difficult to handle. You did all of this for polishing the understanding levels and better growth of your relationship. Your emotions made you ignore the weaknesses of the person you loved. You practically ignored a lot of things you didn’t like as well. Well, its not you it was your emotions.

They say, certain relationships are for a season, reason or a lifetime. Your own soul cheated on you probably to make you feel as this was just for a reason. What is the real reason – will be nothing but your own growth. The sooner you get out of this reflecting stage which will lead you to play a blame game that it was entirely the opposite person’s fault – the better it is for your heart and emotional stability.

There may be a million reasons to why you may feel cheated by your own heart. It could be the opposite person didn’t feel the same way, or you both of have moved on at the end of the story. But those first couple of negative thoughts that make you regret or rather hurt about why you ever felt that way for that individual if it ever had to turn out this way – will make you really reflect.

Why blame the other person, when you itself were that blind and let it go on all this time. Yes, you saw it earlier, but ignored it as any individual would do to make any relation work. The real question is, can you put a time frame around it and say “This will be the last time and I won’t let my own emotions cheat me anymore?

 

Is Your Soul Still Cheating You?

 just another reflective note …from a reflective cheated soul 🙂

The Science Lecture…

Earlier my office hours used to be till 10:30pm, and since I stay so close to office, I used to reach home max by 11:10. The timing was such that I didn’t realize everyone at home used to be done with their dinner and the regular TV watching to be able to have a non disturbed conversation with me.

Just a week back, my timings have changed and I now reach home by 10:00 only to be reminded that there are science lectures being progressively conducted at home which everyone – my 60 yr old aunts, my 90 above grand mom and the latest to the addition is my 60+ uncle are attending in rapt attention. For those who are wondering what on earth I am rambling about – here it goes.

Science Lecture = to those never ending sagging Indian Soap Operas aka cultured family dramas; equivalent to the continued decade series of Bold & Beautiful & the Young and the Restless, with those never ending plots and a villain, the strategizing background music, with the stuck screen gaping face of shocks when some news of an estranged out of the wedlock kid is unearthed along with people marrying practically every next member available and single in their family. These soap operas along with their aged old drama series have been existing from the time of Adam now. They have become so disgustingly painful, that if anyone needs to really fall sick, they should sit down and watch them. Or even better, if anyone is an insomniac – make them watch one episode and its enough to make them go to sleep simply out of complete disgust with their creativity.

And everyone in my family from 9:30pm – 11:00 watches every single frame, to every single second and even have a stringent opinion about how a particular character should ideally have reacted and behaved. They are so glued that they can’t afford to miss a single emotion of any of the characters as if they are actually attending a very high ended chemical oriented science lecture. I sooo now detest stepping into home at that time, anticipating the screeching high ultrasonic background score teamed with the rainfall of Glycerin nearly every half a second.

God, Please Bless my soul!

Staying Alive…

I sometimes enjoy being in a total contemplative state of mind. I have just been contemplating about everything that doesn’t seem to be right around me; whether it’s my life or of those around me. I feel now my thought process is probably going the cause and effect way to understand what’s wrong and why it seems to be so wrong and if its really that wrong.

Being in a contemplative state of mind, helps at times where I find getting my answers to my own questions. What is a cause and effect funda? Cause and effect are concerned with why things happen (causes) and what happens as a result (effects).

I won’t get into any analysis of the causes and effects, but trust me it has a role to play in everything that doesn’t seem right.

Somehow my weekend wasn’t that contemplative at all. I seem to have found my thought process right in place where it always was. However, this weekend I felt as if I suddenly had just a lot of time in my hand to spare. For a change, I was really way too free for my own self. Never had this feeling before, but maybe things have slowed down for me, and I am feeling the change since I have always been used to living a fast paced life. I always have one plan after the other on a weekend, or sometimes, there are just sudden plans. I suddenly feel as if I have transitioned from outer space and I am just looking around finding something common to do. I know these are weird thoughts out of no where and just random. 🙂

Anyways, it was fun meeting some really old pals over the weekend and both of them jokers as such that they could serve in the circus. It’s just strange how much my friends can impact my life. They are truly a blessing. They make me alive.

I Feel New!

Today, I am feeling much better than the last couple of days, which just seem never ending and impossible to get by due to the foggy cloud of a phase in my life. Thankfully, today I feel I have a perspective about a lot of things and feel as if I am a new human being.

It’s all about change. Change is the only thing that’s constant. I feel today, as if something has changed within me. I have taken certain decisions and feel better as they are the right ones. I need to be able to feel free of all the confusion, and the thoughts in my mind. I need to live a very simple life without any things clouding over my head. I have realized the minute I get worried, there are lot others who start really fussing over me. I have realized the minute I am sad, other people don’t feel good as well and the atmosphere becomes somber. At least for the sake of those who really care about me and love me, I needed to get over this phase fast.

It’s unfair, that just because things are not right in your life, you stress other people out. How honest are you to them when you tell them that they are so important to you that you would do anything for them and then you turn around and don’t even give a look as to what they must be feeling because of what you are going through. I believe you have the power to make people feel what you would want them to feel. If I wanted to spoil someone’s day, I wouldn’t behave in the usual manner as I normally would; in turn making them really turn their focus on me and stressing them out. Thus making them spoil their day. Thus making them feel really confused and not good at all.

Yes, they love you and care for you. Yes, there is always an element of give and take in relationships which should always be in equal balance, but if you really care about what you are putting people through, you would really think twice and speed up your own process of coming back to being your usual self.

If you really love the people in your life, you would really do anything for them, even if it involved bringing your own self through for them.

My Randomness!

Today, I just seem to have a lot of random thoughts and a lot of questions for which I am searching answers for. Nothing really has triggered my chain of thoughts, but most of my relationships do trigger a lot of them at times.

Anyways, I had a good getaway in the last weekend with some great friends. The trip definitely gave me some special memories to cherish and remember. Makes you realize how time flies by, when you spent with your friends even if it was for the three whole days. The time just doesn’t seem sufficient enough.

Another random thought that crossed me, when these relationships become complacent {you get really used and habituated to the person so much}, then do they straightaway split. I believe in being positive and believe that you constantly need that kind of a mature mind to understand to polish your relationships, be it any relation. By polishing, I meant it by way of communicating straight through honestly, complimenting, nothing hidden, no pretentiousness etc.

I have never personally felt any of my friendship being so complacent. I am forever excited to meet my friends and forever in for any social gathering. But again, it’s not a necessary that what you may feel others should also feel the same about you.

But, yes today I am searching for some answers to these questions:

1) Does a complacent relationship make you feel as if you have been taken for granted?

2) Does complacent relationship usually lead to a split after they have created enough distance that you cannot even communicate?

3) Dishonesty is what creates it or is one of the causes of complacency in relationships?

If I get my answers, I would probably repost this blog again…If anyone has answers, please feel free to post!