Archive for January 2008

Letting Go & Forgiving.

January 31, 2008

A friend of mine after reading the Rule Book blog made an interesting observation. She remarked “Those are the best rules to follow and I guess, if everyone follows them, life would be better for each and every one of us. However I notice that “To forgive” is not making its debut therein? The fact it did not constitute or make it to that list, makes me think that you don’t forgive people?”She made me smile. A very intelligent observation made and it maybe true and may not be as well. She did make me think, if I really forgive people or I simply just let go. Is forgiving and letting go one and the same thing? Maybe unconsciously they are nearly the same to me. Its not that I don’t forgive, I do but maybe my reactions are different depending on the situations I am in. Maybe I am not nearly as vocal about forgiveness as other people would.If there was a fight with a very close friend and she said something nasty or rude or something that I didn’t agree with, guess I would just let go – now wouldn’t that imply that I did forgive? Or would that just imply that I ignored and I just let it go?

2nd Situation: A relationship did not work, the way one would think it would. It ends. You definitely feel bitter about it and have questions in your mind relating if there was anything that you did wrong. Over a period of time, it starts fading away. The reason of the relationship ending is just time distancing two people. Time fades the color of Trust and belief. You definitely won’t forget it completely, but the pain starts fading away with time. Now, you are at a stage that if you meet that person again, you would be cordial and friendly and just won’t really feel anything. You are completely casual about it, however you haven’t forgotten that there was a relationship existent with this person which doesn’t exist anymore. Now, would you term your casual attitude as forgiveness or just letting go?

Would love to know what other people would think of this?

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My Rule Book.

January 31, 2008
  1. rules2.jpgAcceptance —
    If you think you agree with someone, accept it even if it means that you are proving yourself wrong. If you can disagree on something with all your might, then why not disagree with yourself as well with all your might.
  2. Listen —
    Listen to yourself when you are angry. You will realize that you are just talking and neither listening to yourself nor to what the other person is saying.
  3. Be Sure–
    Be sure of what you want in life. Just by meeting people, you don’t decide what you want in life. Yes, people’s experiences will and may teach you what you would want from life. It may make you realize how fortunate you have been. But not necessarily everyone whom you come across in life will tell you what you want.
  4. Trust —
    When people tell you that they love you and you maybe very unconsciously give out signals of you not trusting them, will lead most of your relationship partners feel insecure. These may include those that you turn for help in times of crisis. If you feel secure why not let the others feel the same.
  5. Let Go –
    Let go of yourself in the thoughts and presence of those whom you turn to for help and support. The fact that you are letting yourself go in their presence, they will sense the bond of the relationship that you share. Let go of those who never were your’s and never ever will be. Live free.
  6. Live –
    Live each moment, every nano second with those whose company you enjoy. Live your breath with those whom you tend to spend so much time with; enjoy their existence and let them know that you appreciate their space with you. You never know when the validity of your relationship expires or when they do.
  7. Give —
    Support those who need you. Help them unconditionally, even if they are the same people who in time will turn their back on you. 85% of the time – learn the art of giving – receiving the best will come to you.
  8. Honest —
    Be honest to the one you care and love the most. Be it your family or friends. If they see your dishonesty, they can see your honesty as well. This is one aspect that will earn you respect and love from those whom you never expected would or could love you unconditionally.
  9. Change –
    People who love you unconditionally, will always tell you things that you can improve on. They will tell you things that they may not like about you at all. They will tell you things that will help you make a better person out of you. Change for them. If change is not what you can do, modify that aspect that they are pointing to, so that it doesn’t trouble them. It will make them see, the importance that they hold in your life. You will not lose your identity but gain a strength.
  10. Laugh –
    Smile at least for starter’s minimum 5 times in a day. Laugh and make people laugh. Be the joker on whom people laugh. It will change your world enough to change the world of those whom you love.

Blessing or a Curse? – Some Questions Don’t Have Answers!!!

January 31, 2008

Always thought there would always be some people in your life, who would stick around for ever.

Then I realized another thought – if there have been people who been there around for quite a few years…shared moments, life, experiences, opinions on just about everything more so ever also disagreed about everything and yet stayed friends; yet expressed emotions on special days or just out of the blue on some days of the week with no reason at all – these people will always be around more so than the others as you have practically lived your life with them.

Another one would be – The above described people wouldn’t really care what you did, or how you dressed or what you said to other people, as long as you did not do anything to hurt them – the fact that they have stayed with you for so long – you would think that they accept you the way you are.

But really does it always work the way you think?
Does it necessarily have to work, the way you want it to work, you FOOL?

The answer to that would be a straight Big NO! It comes back to you as an enlightening thought “What the hell were you thinking”? esp when you realize that people do change, and along with them, the opinions about you change as well and more so over – if there are additions of people in their life – it is even more bound to change.

Like the Social Law of Nature would say “you will always have 1% influence of the people you socialize with”. And that 1%, would be enough to get you thinking.

It would be enough to change your impression about people, it would MORE than enough to Completely change your relationships …. and those close relationships are not going to be an exception.

Why should they be an exception?
Why shldn’t they change? just coz you felt that they shouldn’t? Just coz you were soo DAME sure about them that you could have even laid a Million Dollar Bet on them?

Well Darling, as one of my friend would always remark to me that “it will usually be the most closest relationships would change or end – as those will be ones that you would least expect to”

I always told her she was insane. I argued, as long as you were honest to any relationship more so to a friendship, nothing could harm it…no ONE could even lay an eye on it?

Here comes another to hit you real hard – The very fact that you were Honest – RAISED a SUSPICION – How can one be so HONEST?

Why would one want to be Honest always? How can someone be so HONEST? Does that Honesty has a background Agenda to it? Is the person, want something else out of you? These will be the questions that your long lost friend will wonder?

And What the Hell do you do?

Do you stop being Honest?
What do you do?

HOW THE HELL ON THIS EARTH WILL YOU explain to that person, that you don’t have an underlying agenda – except your friendship? It will be like a big block to brick to hit your face and you realise you are just stumped with loss of words to even explain yourself?

Another one argues “The fact that this person, doesn’t trust your honesty, is the person really worth it?”

The fact that he/she is sooo suspicious about everything you do – even your words — how the hell do you expect your lines of communication to work? Will that person ever believe whatever you say?”

But the fool that you are just coz you have this strong sense of belief that this one is not the one to be just given up for. A very strong belief that you will not be able to explain to anyone. A very strong urge that your relationships are for Keeps. How do you explain what you think?

How do you counteract other peoples very sensible questions?
Who is correct?
You faith or beliefs or your Questioned Honesty? Or is it a very FUNNY LIFE or do you take it as a Blessing in Disguise?

Some Questions will always remain unanswered!!! Or Some Questions Don’t Have Answers!!

Eye for Isolate!

January 30, 2008
A perfectionist said – Man is a social animal and he can’t be isolated. But is that really true. Sometimes in a crowd of a gathering at a party I see people left alone completely isolated.What goes through that persons mind? A rush of thoughts about what is not right in his/her life, what went wrong in the past and how he would have corrected it had he thought about it earlier. Thoughts about how some people did not treat him/her right. Wishing that some selected people would have been present at that time to make him/her feel better.Strange fiction, when you have the same people around you; you just don’t seem to realize that they can complete you in their own way, but the minute they are non existent pieces in your life, you may seem to want them even more. This is one aspect that is enough to get you Isolated from a crowd of fun loving people. I have always seem to have known or catch people in their thoughts when they seem isolated and strange when I am fully concentrated on the opposite persons talks, I am still an isolated person as I may be trying to connect that conversation to the person I have missed in my life. Isolation is not an art; it’s a natural phenomenon where you come to realize that you don’t seem to connect anymore with the only person who had connected the best so far.

There are some people who are victorious champions in isolating other people from the rest of the real world. They would be so strong in their words, actions or body language that within no time you will fail to realize how mesmerized they have got you to be.

In no time, they are the only people whom you talk on the phone for endless hours, only people who would wait for to call; only people whom you would prefer to hang out with. And LO Behold! Are you even aware of what is happening behind your back on even around you?

You tend to seem cut off from everything you do. You don’t enjoy other people’s company as much as you do with them. Stark realities that some people do carry such qualities within themselves as they don’t have more than a single person in their life themselves since they have been isolated beings from a very long time.

But like in a God’s Blessed world, people would remark – He has given people the strength and the will power to use their own brains. He has given people the courage to make some really hard but right decisions. Can such people still get Isolated?