Sex And The City In Mumbai!

A practical and critical review of the Movie – Sex & The City that was released last month. 

Subject: Sex And The City In Mumbai!

By Namita Devidayal
 
Okay, so the women now need push-up bras, and the Mahnolo theme has been worn to the insole, and the televised series was way more sassy. Sure, the movie is flawed, farcical, and not worth the $55 mil it raked in the opening weekend in the US.

But why do we still love Sex and the City and leave the theatre laughing out loud?

Because on some level, Carrie and her Cosmo-sloshing, fashion-fetishy, smart-talking gang actually manage to live life on their own terms. And their 30 to 40 year-old, successful, smart, sexy equivalents in far-off India are still getting there.
 
Let me explain.

Mumbai may be like Manhattan when it comes to real estate index, but look at the relationship index, and what goes on here might make Miranda go on a stiletto-stabbing spree.

Where would you find (even in a movie) a gorgeous 50-year-old cancer survivor who is so comfortable with herself that she dumps a hunky, doting boyfriend just to be single and bonkable again? She prefers buying her own diamond baubles rather than squawking about what her man gave her. And she frowns when her best friend announces that she is getting married because she thinks it will kill the relationship. She loves being in love, and she wants to fall back in love with herself, which a woman can only do if she is OMO (on my own). I went to watch the movie with my three best girlfriends, and we found bits of Carrie and Miranda and Charlotte among us, but couldn’t find a Samantha-anywhere in our collective phone books!

Next. If a woman here were stood up on her wedding day, you wouldn’t find her best friends taking her away to Mexico for a ‘funnymoon’. No, dear. There would be gossippy aunties proffering reams of unsolicited advice and of course a very distressed mom whispering that perhaps you should just make up and get married quickly-quickly. We live in a country where the national past-time is to get married.

The movie is the tailpiece to a hit television series that ran from 1998 to 2004. The stories were about four single women who were sleepless in Manhattan, and their search for love — and Louis Vuitton! Carrie is a columnist who writes about love and sex and whether the twain can meet; Miranda is a Harvard-educated lawyer who balances the pros and cons of every thing in her life on long-leaf pads and has a pet house-husband; Samantha loves sex and thinks like a man; and Charlotte is an anal-retentive Park Avenue princess who lives in Noddy land.

Now, let’s transpose our characters from Manhattan to Mumbai.

Carrie, our columnist, would not be writing about sex, because the moral police would hold morchas outside her house, blacken her face, and psychologically scar her for life. Even our local Mumbai Mirror sexpert, a gentle 84 year-old who gives startlingly sound advice on penile malfunctions and professional masterbaters, got arrested when Pratibha Naithani complained that he was being obscene. Sex is a three-letter-word. Samantha? She would have had a sex change by now so that she could continue on her lusty escapades as a man. Miranda would not exist because, as any local head-hunter will tell you, smart highly educated women tend to drop out of the workplace after they have children (How else do you explain why the same three ICICI women and Naina Lal Kidwai are featured every time there is an article titled ‘woman on top’) Besides, in India, house-husbands are treated with scorching contempt. Only the sweet but annoying Charlotte may be found lurking around in a Malabar Hill gym or at the gynaec’s office, doing endless follicle tests to check on her fertility cycle.

Oh my god–and the fashion? It would be either ugly over-blingy wedding saris, or then Premson-generated fakes. Which is worse? Not sure.

Finally, the conversations may go something like this:

“Please, please god, help me find a man who is not gay, married or hung up on his mother.”

Sex in Mumbai? Bunk! The Sensex is more exciting.

 

The above was so true – in its every sense. I particularly loved this line “We live in a country where the national past-time is to get married.”.

I am already seeing this happening around me and trust me I am so tired of hearing about it already. So many marriages either on the brink of it or people trying to forcibly make their children’s marriage work, when their own sons or daughters themselves don’t want it and are not happy – all thanks to the culture, society and mainly “what will people say”. Phew! Who ever said Marriage = The Only Happiness, needs to seriously revisit his thoughts or rest visit today’s times again. 

The Brand Wagon.

I was tagged by Nikhil @ Mirror Cracked for this post where I needed to talk about the different brands I use in my daily life. I told him that he wouldn’t be getting this post off me so quickly but it is still sooner according to my standards considering the daily work schedule of a Bombayite. 

So here they are:

1. Colgate: No, don’t worry; this doesn’t happen to you when you use this toothpaste, not particular about any tooth paste brands, use an awful lot of different ones.
2. Fast Track Watches: Believe it or not, this is the same exact watch I wear.
3. JP Morgan Chase: A branded bank where I used to work.
4. ABN AMRO: Where I now work.
5. RBS: Is the new owner for ABN.
6. HP: The comp I use at work. 
7. Samsung: The comp I use at home.
8. Nokia: Has always been my favorite in the Mobile Category & Yipeeee I bought a New Cell phone. I am thrilled beyond limits. It’s like the high you get when you get a new hair cut. Cell phones, cameras, computers, laptops any gadgets give me a complete high. I am going to be on a real high for a very long time now thanks to my new possession.
9. Reebok: Has been the brand in my sports shoes for a very long time.
10. WordPress: Is enabling me to post this now and has changed my life for sure.
11. Pantaloons: I like to pick up some of my funky T Shirts from there.
12. Marks and Spencer’s: They have amazingly well fit Trouser’s and Stylish Shirts.
13. Tommy Hilfiger: I love their Jeans.
14. New York & Company: Completely adore their jeans and most of their clothes.
15. Payless: The place where I get quality and stylish Shoes at a very good price.
16. Google: Sponsoring all my images. 

I am a complete foodie and can’t help but have a separate section for my food brands : 

1. Mac Donald’s: I love my Mac Chicken with French Fries and Strawberry Milkshake and the Cafe Mc Swirl. 
2. Café Coffee Day: – I sometimes enjoy a complete Indian Styled Coffee.
3. Barista: The Indian Answer to Starbucks.
4. Starbucks: I always loved their Cold Coffee.
5. Pizza Hut: Not a pizza person, but I love the Caesar Salad and the fact that they have so much variety.
6. Frooti: Always drank it since I was a kid.
7. Cadbury: My all time favorite any day chocolate.
8. Merlot: My all time favorite Red Wine.
9. Krispy Kreme Donuts: They are so god damn delicious that they would just melt away once they are in your mouth.
10. After Eight: The Ohhh So Sinful mint chocolates. I think they are the only dark chocolates I have ever loved.  

I now hereby declare to compulsorily tag Shibani & Sanity Found. I am not sure, when Shibani is going to be able to post this one. She probably has to do her “Pandit” thing by consulting the stars to check on the auspicious days and dates and time before posting any blog 😉

Now that I have given out my preferences for brands – just to let people know that I do accept Belated Birthday Gifts all through out the year – anytime, any day is good for me. 🙂 Keep them coming.  

The Secret – Part I

All right, better late than never; I finally started to read “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne. I have just discovered the online e-copy and just started with the first few pages as I am typing this. I was introduced to this book by two of my best friends who spoke to me about what it talks about a couple of months back. 

When they told me in depth as to what it is all about – I realized that it wasn’t something that we all didn’t know already and which is what I told both of them precisely. I realized that the essence of the book was very inspirational and positive. I still never went ahead to take some efforts to borrow the book from them to read it myself. 

As time went by, I came across people {some were my friends, while some whom I got to know through my friends} who needed some help or answers in their life. They were going through rough times either with their relationships, personal, or professional career. There were some that were just desperate to find just about any solution to their problem, as long as it ended. As a friend, I could give them whatever I could in the form of an advice, but what surprised me with my own self was that I recommended this book to a lot of them without even myself reading it. I have just told those same set of people, to go read this book very confidently and that it sure would give them some positivism and solace in their times of need. They have already come back telling me that it helped them a great deal especially in those times when they needed to maintain their sanity with what was happening around them. 

When I went back narrating this incident to my best friends they would call me crazy as I was recommending a read so confidently without even knowing or practicing it’s preaching’s. It was strange or one of my given set of purposes in life, but it was like me talking in complete darkness without knowing what I was telling them to go and read. 

I believe it’s been nearly 6 months now from the time I knew about the book. Just a couple of days back, I was in a feedback session for one of my team member. I again realized that she needed something; something, that would probably change her outlook towards life toward being more positive. The real challenge here was that she has never taken any efforts to read any book & I mean ANY BOOK apart from her school or college curriculum her entire life. She calls herself a person who is not fond of reading books and would never really take any efforts to pick up any book to read as well. 

The PHD doctor {Me} without any certified qualification again went and recommended this book to her. Not only that, I have re-visited her objectives for the year and assigned that she will be doing a book review on “The Secret” within the next month for the entire team. She wasn’t sure that she would be able to find the book very easily so I just went and did a random search online to find the e-copy. After all I would need to read the book myself finally now to be able to help my team member do an entire book review in the form of a presentation in front of my entire department. 

I am just done with the first 13 pages and just love the way Rhonda has written. Her writing already tells me that it has been with some passion that she has penned this book down. I like the way she is using the words “YOU” catering and emphasizing as if she was just sitting right across to you over the table and telling you all of this. Her words depict confidence that what she is talking about really works and most importantly she has practiced it successfully a lot of times already. I already think that I am going to love this book. 

I will come back and post my review once I am done reading. Alas, I will know what I have been recommending to people all this while.

The Remain…

Distance seems to be the shine on my face
Yet the heart pounds at looking her grace
Thinking I would give her space
But time overwrote its pace…

Realise it or not, I am growing into this old phase
For a term, it was called friendship
For a term,  “A Strong Eternal friendship”
And remain was never said…

Wishes were in abundance in my heart
Thoughts were flooding her mind
Painful feelings overtook my inner plights
Yet, words were lost, disappearing from all sights

Realise it or not, she is growing into this old phase
For a term, it was called friendship
For a term,  “A Strong Eternal friendship”
And remain was never said…

Eternity was sought
Still none ever came up
The light of hope faded
The sounds of life died
Yet the remain was never said…. 

When a “Thank You” Doesn’t Feel Enough…

I say my Thank You in its most humble of forms to all those people for making my day the most overwhelming and a special day. Gratitude straight from my heart and soul.

To some my BEST Friends who came over at my place on my birthday eve for a really amazing get together – Thank you for just landing up over just a very impromptu sms. The best part about knowing all of you has always been the fact that we have been together for so long now but it always just seems as if it was yesterday that we met.  

The time spent with you folks have been the best right from the start and even if we meet after eons it still so feels just the same. The same feeling of love; the same feeling of togetherness; the feeling of security – which always speaks about an unspoken promise of always being there and the warm feeling of people who make your life so complete. 

To some of my Best Friends who couldn’t make it or weren’t there due to geographical distances: Yes, I absolutely missed you folks. Not a single moment went by, where I didn’t think of you guys and wished that you guys were a part of this just like during those old days. Thank You for all those calls and endearing wishes and blessings. 

I agree and wished that I would be able to put these thoughts across more so on a one on one way and should have really done this long back but alas I wasn’t that wiser as I am now then 😛

To Sanity Found @ The Journey To Me – You are absolutely the most positive and an inspiring lady I have come across in my life. Your writing not only touches every corner of my heart, but makes me thing and reflect over a lot of things in my life as well. Thank you so much for taking the time and effort out over dedicating “Hippy Happy Biffday Deeps” to me. 

Makes a lot of difference when I have such an elder sister that calls me “Banana”, “Dry Fruit”, “Narna”, “Funny Rabbit”, “Fool” and some of the words she lands up calling me in the most advanced Hindi which I must have never used in my life as well – all of it using the Google Translator and she calls me 99. Now, isn’t she brilliant? 

To Just About Everyone In My Life – My Family, Friends, Associates, Team Mates and Everyone. 

Thank You so much for all those never ending calls, wishes, blessings, gifts, flowers etc. I am completely overwhelmed today by the shower of love and affection that was always given to me in an unconditional abundance irrespective of the day. I have been in for a complete surprise over some of the people actually remembering my birthday and wishing me – considering it’s been so long that I must have met or spoken to them. I feel truly blessed that I am and have been in the company of people who have touched my life in some or the other way. You guys have been the incredible set of folks making my every single day as terrific as your soul. 

Thank You. Merci. Shukriya. Gracias. Grazie…It still doesn’t seem enough. 

Days Passing By…

The queen has arrived and already back to work after a horrifying jetlag. The washroom in the East Wing {The Silent Zone} isn’t yet ready,  so we still have groups of cheetahs traveling together to the west wing. There were nearly 300 emails waiting for me at work; however a brilliant rain shower had welcomed me back home.

The vacation was fantastic. I was lucky enough to get an awesome weather in New York. It was unbearably cold for the first two days and since we were all lost, we quite didn’t come across people who were really helpful in guiding us in the right direction. Since we were first timers there, it was quick enough for us as well to form a standard opinion about the folks there. 

The first two days were a complete nightmare since we were taking longer than usual to figure out things and getting lost in the middle of no where. However the next few days got relatively better, in terms of understanding the transport system as well as the weather.

New York reminded me of Bombay. Home town to multi cultured locals. People always in a rush, didn’t have the patience & were overly stressed out. New York subways are the best interconnected transport system that I have ever come across. I wouldn’t know how to travel in the suburban railway network here but we quickly understood the realms of traveling in New York and also we were “pushed” to master the technique of understanding the map if we had to be independent and not stop to ask the impatient and ever busy folks out there.

However, the right place to check out the fashion sense of the locals in New York would be right in the Subway System. I just fell in love with the formal wear that the local office going people would wear – fashionably simple, yet so classy and neat.  

I am definitely head over heels in love with Manhattan. I would wish and pray everyday that if I ever move out of India and live in a place it would be right in the center of Manhattan, on Broad Way Street – close to Central Park. It’s the Peddar Road & Nepeansea Road of Bombay. A big road surrounded by an entire street of shops on either side of it. Every next local out there had a pet and most of them were poodles. Economically speaking it’s the most expensive place to live in. I can only imagine if the dynamics of the place is so expensive then the amount of revenue the locals out there must be generating – to be able to support their pets and to also have a Pet Massage Parlor dedicated to them.

We were once in the subway, and I was standing and trying to figure out something from the map. A train came and stopped and this sudden rush of people suddenly came out in a huge fast force. I was standing right in the middle of the platform and definitely in my own space. A woman just came breezing by from the opposite end made me move to give her space to pass by. As she did, she looked at me with those angry eyes and swore something nasty. My friend & I just looked up at each other wondering what ever on earth we did so wrong, with my friend mocking at me that probably it was just “me” that she didn’t like.

During the last days of our vacation, we used to just talk about all our exciting and crazy incidents with people and have a good laugh over it. The days passed by so quick that I didn’t even realize. Life is passing by so fast, wish I could just hold on to certain days of my life forever. 

PS: Missed me, didn’t ya?

People Watch – Live from New Jersey.

Penned: 30^th May 2008

I am still traveling and there are just days to go when my blissful vacation ends. Now, I am sitting at Starbucks – Americas answer to our very own desi Barista, eating a nice Egg Fiorentine sandwich and sipping an Iced Latte with Atif Aslam singing in my ears. It is about 9 am in the morning and I came here to especially just do some people watch. I am going to be here for 4 hours or so while I wait for a friend to join me. She insisted that I go around looking for some places to shop. Since I have already done a fair share of my necessities, I wanted to do some serious people watch and spend some time alone to get some fresh batch of thoughts in my head. I chose Starbucks simply because of the number of people that come in at every single second. I am having fun. This is so cool.

I have always liked being in places where there are many people around. While I am penning down this blog, it is amazing to see how many people have walked in and walked out with their daily dose of caffeine. Well, its nothing to be amazed about to see people buy some coffee and their breakfast and go about their day – but it just so cool to just sit in one corner with your laptop and watch people do what they do and that also so many people just at one place walking by me.

I have seen a couple of mothers walk in with their baby trams and buy some cereal breakfast and sit for couple of hours feeding their new born. It was so cute to see a father walk in the same way with a tram with his probably a year old son and feed him just in the same way that a mom is doing on another table. Just taking a guess, they both are probably single parents who are just living in their own separate worlds. The table in front of me has a Mexican guy who is so engrossed in his food that he has not even looked up once to look around. I love to watch people eat their food like that. I just appreciate the way; they respect and devour what is in front of them. {May be its just hunger, its amazing to see how he is eating his sandwich, not a drip of mayo has fallen off. Wish I could eat like that}

Some of them that have walked in seemed to come here everyday. The employees greeted them using their first names and had some really nice and short casual chat with them before walking out. It is about 10 am now, and nearly 100 people must have already walked out – considering there was a big queue 30 minutes back. The Mexican Guy in front of me has now for some reason shifted into another chair on the same table, which is now exactly making him face me. He has kept his bi focal glasses down. He is now reading the newspaper by keeping it so close to his face that I am sure he could almost smell the paper.                                                                                                                       

It is amazing to feel and realize how my vacation days have passed by and everyday has been a new day – just like these people who get every morning to start a new day with their cuppa. The first day of my landing here, my friend and me lost our way. We were walking on a deserted street near the International Airport, when a cop’s car stopped by us and offered to help us. I am still grinning as I type this, as I am recalling the scared shitting bricks look on my friends face doubting the cop and if we should be getting in his car. My excitement was over the roof to get into a cops car since it would be a complete first time experience. She was so scared, that I could feel her hand grabbing my arm, just to be sure, that I would probably take the correct decision and not take up the offer. Another factor that was adding to her scare and doubts was that once we are inside, only the cop could open it from outside for us to get off. 

Anyway, I wanted to get into his car, as for some reason, I felt we were going to be just fine and he could be trusted. Moreover, we were just couple of miles from the Terminal where we needed to head and with the signs on the Airport – there was no reason that we would lose our sight of the way. We get into the back of his car, and for the first time I realized I was experiencing what I have always seen in the movies. The backseat was so narrow and so cramped that none of us could even move our legs. We were nearly crouched, cramped and very uncomfortable. All through out the way, it was a sight to see how scared my friend was. She was sitting close enough for me to feel her nerves cracking up with anxiousness. All just went well, as he safely escorted us to the correct place safe and sound. I must add that it was an experience for a lifetime that I will never forget. I loved every bit of the thrill and excitement that came along with it. 

Coming back to my current place, the Mexican Guy is still there with the paper on his nose. It is around 11am and again the place is full with many people. The table next to me is now occupied with a hot and all showy cleavage Lady who seems to be in her 30’s accompanied by a very tall Gentleman in his 50’s. I like what the Lady is wearing. It’s a nice short blue top covered with a black vest. It is very stylish and completely an “In Fashion” statement. Oh, the Mexican fella just left leaving all his newspapers on the table. Coming to the table right next to me, the Gentleman seems to be engrossed in what his Lady companion seems to be telling him so much so that he is been doing nothing but leaning over the table like a slanted lamp post. 

My sandwich and Latte is now over and I will be expecting my friend any minute now. I didn’t even feel and realize how time and the day has passed by just watching people. I wish sometimes, even “People Watch” would be a separate profession by itself, would be something that I would definitely endorse.

Inevitable Change!

Whoever said change is inevitable hit bull’s eye with that statement. Change in its various forms is a must for the growth of our minds, for our individual self and the way we see and perceive things. Can you just imagine a world without ideas, innovations and developments? Can we imagine living in the same season through out the 12 months in a year? 

Its change, within oneself, our personal life’s that help us accept the changes in the environment around us. It’s a topic that can be spoken about in pages and have been spoken about in books, media in its vast numbers.

The real picture is – change is not always is easy for a lot of people. Sometimes, I really fail to understand as to why people are so stuck up in life with their stringent thought processes that they will follow the same rule in their book for ages to come. Its an understandable thought that they probably don’t want to implement that particular change in their life, but at least to come to a point to look at it with an open mind seems a struggle as well. Don’t implement if you don’t want to and if you can’t for whatever reasons that you may have, but even a minute spent on thinking that there may be a different side to it, does stretch your mind to think and make it open. How would one know that it is not good for them, if they haven’t really tried it and given it its due chance? 

I have some really funny friends. They have attachment with the things that they use in their daily life. Some of them can’t just throw away their old shoes till they find an exact similar pair, look, design etc in the shops. People probably just do get used to living the old way, that they may have been living, but give it a thought that change might be just as beautiful as their old ways. Some changes may just turn around and change the way we live and think. It’s just the acceptance factor, the sooner we accept, the better we realize what we may have been losing out on. I know for a fact that changes in relationships are not always the ones that come by very easily to individuals however the acceptance that the change might actually be a blessing in disguise. 

We make a difference in our lives through change – good or bad. Even changes that we may perceive are wrong are out to give some message – it’s only if we choose to read it the right way. Live “NEW” or Die “Old” – will be a choice that we make for ourselves.
 

PS: Gone for a nice Vacation, Miss me for two weeks! Cheers

The Silent Zone!

All I have spoken in my last blogs have been the importance of relationships and people in our life. However, what I really missed out was the importance of certain “places” in our lives as well. 

There have been quite a few structural renovations taking place at my work. Here the total employee strength would be nearly 5000 or so. A lot of construction workers are moving around about in the building either polishing up, painting or carpenters building or repairing some or the other corner in my workplace.

The floor plan of my workplace is completely on the ground floor and divided into two wings. One is the east wing – which has been the initial floor that they had converted from a mill to a corporate workspace and then bought the extending floor space in the next couple of months, which is now called the west wing. The west wing looks far more branded, furbished & spacious in comparison to the east wing considering that the management probably spent some good amount of time planning and doing a better job at constructing it in comparison to the east wing. 

The floor space of the entire office {East + West} is really huge and inter connected as well. The more interesting bit here is – that if you need to walk from the East wing to the West wing, it would be an easy 10 minutes walk to return back to your workspace. My entire department has been housed in the east wing. 

The essential need and greed for any employee working anywhere would be to have this really palatial, hygienic, clean, quiet & a peaceful restroom. We have one small restroom in the east wing {pretty decently spaced out, clean and hygienic} which is basically just off my workstation. Then another one in the transit area {the size of a donut, which cannot take more than four people} on your way towards the west wing and the last one which is like a palace in the west wing itself – which is right at the farthest and opposite corner to the east wing and empty, usually deserted & peaceful. 

This Monday, everyone’s week started off with a surprise when they entered office. We all saw this huge cardboard type structure made out of wood right outside our East Wing restroom and when we all opened our mail boxes, there was this nicely drafted apologetic mail expressing their deepest apology that the east wing restroom would be under renovation for another 3-4 weeks. 

The expressions and the “Oh my God” gasps could be heard from every nook and corner of the East wing. It was as if our most loved café had shut down. There were discussions about how much time it would take to go to either the Transit Area Restroom or to the West Wing. Everyone knows that the Transit Area Restroom cannot really hold more than 4 people at a time; so for a lot of people their expressions consisted of “that would mean – that many at times there would be a railway reservation counter queue” and for those impatient individuals who don’t like waiting in queues or are in dire emergencies would have to walk up all the way from the East to the last corner of the West wing {did I say “walk up” in dire emergencies? Let me rephrase and say “Making that DASH” to the West Wing} 

On Monday, I was sitting and painting pictures in my head how people would be holding on to their pants and getting up and making that dash across the hallway to the west wing. Wouldn’t that be a real sight? Everyone would know where he/she is headed. 😛 Nasty Me!

However, what I really didn’t think of was that how creative the girls would be in this and will make it a more fascinating journey every day for the next four weeks. The girls at workplace have come up with a most innovative solution for this. They now get up and ask around if anyone else wants to join them. Seems like a pack of leopards that publicly initiate the announcement of their need & then go for their kill with a task and a force. {It’s a relief to know that, they ask each other to join for the “journey” and not for the “activity” itself}

So these days it’s the usual norm, I would see a pack of bees in a bunch out together either on their way upwards or downwards. Some bunches have really buzzed by me like a wind at 100 kmph. {Ah! Well it’s their “forceful wind”}

Phew! So whenever you now visit your conveniently located peaceful zone; never forget to bow your head to them in a heartfelt gratitude for being just right there when you needed them.

Living In Denial…

I have been reading some stuff on a subject which describes the emotion of denial. I was curious to know what makes people deny certain things so strongly from the outset when they know from within that the truth is exactly opposite to what they are actually denying.  They deny just out of their ego or some other factors and hence are unable able to embrace the reality and truth with open wide arms. 

It’s strange, they know the real truth. They have been living in this reality from a very long time but talking about it out seems to be a challenge for them. Denying becomes a self defense mechanism where the individual is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence.

I would believe that there would be numerous kinds and types of denial and it may exists in its various forms within different kind of people. Some may deny the feeling for the other; it may be denying love or may deny the resentment for the other – probably in an attempt to save the relationship. Some may live in this feeling of denial because of norms, beliefs, values, traditions, peoples reactions and oppositions. These people wouldn’t want to break out of the barriers that already existed in the society since mediveal era. These norms and traditions may have been passed down from generations, therefore encountering something alltogether new which doesn’t seem to fit into the rule book gets them into a strong denial mode.

Some denial involves avoiding personal responsibility by blaming, minimizing or justifying. The other may be a person who is avoiding to think about or understand the harms their behavior have caused to themselves or others. By doing this, that person is able to avoid feeling a sense of guilt and it can prevent that person from developing remorse or empathy for others.

Denial isn’t something to be confused with changing ones habits that needed a change from a long time. This can be a difficult concept for many people to identify in themselves, but is a major barrier to changing hurtful behaviors. Denial of denial involves thoughts, actions behaviors & emotions which can cause a break down of  confidence that nothing needs to be changed in one’s personal behavior.

It does go far to an extent that during the process of denial, we eventually get used to beleiving that it is the right thing to deny. Its becomes a comfort that denying is something that will protect you and those around you.

Deny and one wouldn’t grow, nor would be able to see an open minded perspective. The real aspect here would be, how long would they continue to deny what they are and if in the end it really gives them those results in the same form in which they truly and always desired. Would it really be an honest connection and confession from within ones soul and what they always truly felt?